azdi404

  sporadic worship thoughts watch on youtube or here   laly let me hold the center of make-believe  because meditation numbs the brain   so here's a song I've sung to pacify myself with I've relocate the memorized lyrics to a secret cache  I'll relay to you the vibes and humms in case you need to find out  why you're here with me in these shameless thoughts why I'm in the distance ignored even though you're in my head? at times you trouble me as I stand waiting or as i lay underneath the tree of patience you evade me when I quizz my fate I don't need a chemical high what's in me are suffice. and sometimes i receive over-expanded mixed signals but one day you'll understand why your photographs are memory gateways to cherish to behold if you could only see and feel how my suicidal words strive to annotate when it trouble me against me demanding what have i done? to me forgiveness or redemption are not sanctuaries of stones not a sacred di...

  Laly's shadow games watch on youtube or here   refracted faces peaked from behind glass windows slowly loading Laly's shadow I had a vision of ringside attractions the game started with a triggered flipped coin toss === staring down a right hook of a heavy option thunderclap waves of thick air eased the concern just in time to flee below the trophy belt feeding on the neon lights from above when the bell rings   === imprisoned by a creed I fashioned and tomorrow is coming on strong to collect a reminder of a pledged plan   === Raiders & Preys is her favorite challenge game her eyes light up coming to me as a raider as a hunter playing slow to get me fast, collecting my carcass as a prized prey crucifying it as a gift on a birthday wall. === I want chances in the roulette of life , to be plucked for a wish, stuffed in a vase washed away by a flood or a simple gift on Valentine’s Day   === I'm not dead because I've adored her in an offset of time in a ...

Broadway Soundtrack listen on youtube or here Between birth & death We live and die with lost themes sometimes hope is in us obvious or hidden, often it's carried by others in a gap of time i found mine in a broadway show It’s there that I met you swaying onstage, Just me, myself & I in a single-cubicle seat admiring you Imagination is an understatement linking me to a short power trip ride i felt myself teleported onstage Soaked in rough dreams the touch of a soft beast the touch of a soft beast you have the star you are this classic broadway drama the combination is so subtle It’s a crazy place, my dear but the chapters took a turn consumed by a swan dance and hummed odysseies captivated by a new emotion leaving myself behind in a drought implicated & decieved by your relentless moves i couldn't tell the difference anymore i'm still looking into everything, ignoring myself in the mirror keeping my head in the play, fine tuning this funky horn a soundtrack I ...

 ashes & dust listen on youtube or here laly it's ashes to ashes dust to dust everything is dead and gone. everything you touch in me burns laly i've forsaken my soul to be dead and gone. ashes to ashes dust to dust i regret what I know shadowy guesses taking chances knowing you at the edge of 25 i was had at hello i was had at hello by that beautiful smile pieces of addicted dreams I trapped punished under my skin I injected the blueprint of your face into my veins an epiphany of breakaway songs shaming my alphabet towns into an insurrection tearing down erected walls in a grudge migrating its way out and i followed them like a hound-dog to seek you and like my slurred figures of speech switched before birth a case of nostalgia blues four decks deep escaping voices roll out slow too old to flow, just like me too slow to lock in your glimmer my remaining days will suffer searching your path and i reminese how it took a callous heart to break a solid core in the forgotten ...

  blind euphoria state listen on youtube or here Daylight departs in a stalemate oddity.   your shadow arrives as a fictitious night mode tenuously hovering by my window frame   you, moving a bit slowly in my head   and you buried the sinful seed in the dead red hill by my house What are the chances that I’m blind? Can I feel you for myself, touching your warm skin with my cold fingertips? A shortcut to navigate a soul I embrace your smile with my lips I crawl the mouth slowly upper and lower, Edge to edge I Read the messages like Braille . Between the parentheses of your cheeks that frame your mouth through the pressure of your exhaling breaths I confess to all that I’ve done Wandering around here carrying depriving thoughts It was not in the plan I’m never the same I never badly needed someone as I do you to help me feel What are the chances that I have convicted myself for the sake of you? I ignored the verdict though I'm blind when I need to keep myself away ...

 abuse   listen on youtube or here abuse   Kiss my wounds & I'll digest your lies delete all that's been done & let's start over one more time   Grease the next promise under the sun   Let's redo the nursery rhymes of Shoots and Ladders     Color the eyelids for disguise   change the name & sip from tears   With a new set of friends to use You have what it takes to abuse  restrain me from the soft, feminine violence   I’ve abandoned my soul when it failed you   just the basic fact   Follow me to where it hurts   over here with bad company  In a corner, wishing you to share my disposition I'm at fault for not telling you What would I do if pleasure were in my hand But for now, your abuse is chewing chances away I’ve been where you wanted   Done what you’ve asked quenched from your dreams   I’ve touched your blues   I've observed you on the horizon above But that cloud isn't bl...

 deflower my soul    listen on youtube or here today as before, I stand here waiting I've lost the taste of goodbyes & hellos   yearning to deflower my virgin soul with you I'm burying rumored pages in the afternoon   news about bones on a gun dirt squeezed from stones   prayers from a nun hung in the air but you're on the flip side   eyes on skin & boys having you for fun   so what’s being born   innocence or porn   the word has spun   what have you done? time has been carving the hands of people I know it’s strange these thoughts lead me to mummified moments it was so thoughtful of my dreams to turn up the volume to hear you so many times solitude has been leading people on to guess that I’m saving my purity for you to deflower it’s all becoming a single ambition to be virgin-free circulating black market rumors about you stolen from grapevines   were they sold in bazaars for money or for the validation crown is it...

 bow down    listen on youtube or here bow down bow over my aspiring soul, the healer has arrived to realign my heartbeat spread a smile for sustenance lock the eyelids shut bend the head at the neck keep faith open wide for the kiss.   she’s about to bless as she comes closer to perform the rituals   giving birth to the moment I inhale deeply into my stale lungs the fresh air she exhales to show me around myself gift wrap me as wanted memories had shaped me well for this moment so far.   so I bow down she comes to me slow thunder she comes to me with static crawling ahead she comes to me with her hair down time runs on a countdown until her lips embrace mine in a gentle crush, releasing edible venom feeding the addiction the honor of being the chosen one, ever so gracious and rumors had it that the less I have, the little I want, but that's a lie the more she gave, the longer I needed it. so I bow down bow down bow over my perishing prayers , little use d...

  unforgiven listen on youtube or here unforgiven one day you'll feel a disconnect around you, as if the world has betrayed you, the emptiness of searching for that one person that's searching for you in return, in between the intervals of those days remember me = my adore laly, let me tell you about loneliness and pain , you see, no one bypasses its treachery, as we grow older no one can say they lived without pain = it's the salt of life, spiking flavor into us to see, feel and taste life better or different it makes some of us hypocrites covering our grievances with fake smiles it tattoo's a scar on the heart validating our humanity = i have certified your name into me I just want my name on you. so I've thought of the unforgiven = laly, because the lord has the good books, prophets and chants I've decided to make these poems for you as your book I've decorated them for you with my voice as chants and I'll spread them as your personal prophet and wit...

Duality listen on youtube or here duality I have dual domiciles ,  I'm from over there, but I belong here,  I have split identities , dual names , dates of birth , unknown dates of death ,  one mandated by the lord and one for you to script  I have dual languages ,  one for the earthlings & one for you my adore dual feelings I deal with,  hope & failure, take your pick to manipulate. I have dual imaginations centering around you,    you were born from the best of me, discretion advised, it's concentrated on my past, from my needs  that I molded into the shape of you with some impurities a definite and over here I've come to see what my mind has begotten  I wouldn't know what I've meant or created from over there. I witnessed my oath of loyalty travel on raven wings ,  coming from a different timeline where I once was so receive my needs well, as spun flirt or confessions consider my duality. any of my dualities could've ...

  Untraceable v2 listen on youtube or here       Untraceable  v1 listen on youtube or here   Untraceable Reflective eye movements darts into the unknown I saw it through a breathing being like me    Prompting to question my lost attachment The theft of my serenity She: Being the Quest puzzles me, but satisfies  I think I have a trace of her   I join the Bedouins serenading the rababa strings  absorbing tales of ether life gone  Recalling spirits of ancient martyrs  I simmer with the smoke and fire, basking between sand dunes,  until the light of the early morning  Repeating songs that depletes the soul I love for her to turn me on  to trace the history of that adorable face  The glowing tales of a thousand nights in the Negev desert rejuvenates the weary, where poets justify lyrics over bonfires and Godfathers of poetry validate who's been hurt the most.  & every story is mine, do you thi...

Roaming grave burn listen on youtube or here it was a fallout plan from the beginning now banished in my roaming grave I'm bleeding since you've left wounded lungs fending off stale air around me despite the burning cold eyes,   you still look so lovely without me,   I know I’m far in a roaming grave my skin is holding me together grazing away, growing withered grasping dried pages of our past   browsing pictures that converted into regret,   roaming deeper into a blank future the shade of your lips lacks the feelings now remind me of the flavor, please I could tell the pain is infecting me,    was I that reckless?   I couldn’t recall faith in me then, unlike now when it's stripped away my wisdom left my crave crusade,   between the jagged edges of Questions & the softness of deceiving answers I have proof that I still adore you     for one more try to conquer you peacefully   come to me or from here, I'll crawl to you, my...

Rose of Judah (dec 2025) listen on youtube or here  Rose of Judah (New 2025 Laly's Version) let her play amongst the pulps and flowers swaying with the breeze   contagious laughter brushes off catcalls from thorns   strolling between carnations , daisy's and jasmines   with an entourage of birds, bees, and butterflies she blends in with ease   I can take this into the far side  bury my face in the colors of life & subside I'm eclipsed and dazed by that beautiful face  i see why the lord annointed her a world blessing What do I see in nature?  a Judaean rose escapade, extending the elixir of her smile equalizing my epidemic when the Hebrew dialect rolls of her tongue forever, those beautiful eyes will her vision ever target me? Oh, how I wish to be victimized by her  so let her run barefooted  like a soft current between the hills  as I envy nature gracing her presence my Judaean rose the colors of humanity ble...

 friends listen on youtube or here my heart is not beating much, but i can hear it condemning me where do I start from when all my friends are gone? i can only trust the dead because they can't harm me anymore at the peak of loneliness, I ask myself, how am I loved? what is it, and which version should I trust they all give me the same feelings, but the end is always disappointing from the closest of them all to the furthest it starts out with ordinary trust, then it changes gears midway betrayal seems like the order of life; it seems like there's a conflict of interest every day seems like the last as I got old, I never learned, in life, there's a different lesson every day Hope is a killer for a shallow soul adored as a wealth mine for the greedy I might be a fringe to be served on someone's plate for an anniversary... I've made it this far I've been living the moments since my arrival, to say hello, I've got to go back to the land I have wandered off fro...

Disease & Void listen on youtube or here My dear, my adore let me update you on the feelings under my skin, I can stir the relapsing chronic passion the infection you gifted me that's coming back like a pestering friend down in a hole leading to an exit into the void lay on me a sheet or two of poems I wrote, your photo is requesting my trust again crawling with memories of a walk with you in the past we walked through the valley of shadow of death I had no fear but of you leading me astray again from finding a way into you well, It's a troubled time when my useless spirit is turned on not any closer than before, not far from your bed either, every filtered moment has a phase obstructing my judgment marking the final screenshots of my stalled day everything is still the same   except for that sparkle in your eyes   my infatuation with your potent smile    curls into a fetal stance of what's coming next behind these feelings comes the hummings of the kabbala sp...