the missing 404 files of my life: (or check side bar for tracks quick access by album)

I was a Boy

 i was a boy listen on youtube or here I exiled myself from the outside into the void  Not to run away but to find myself  I thought & believed what I observed to be the difference there had been signs of crumblings & decay = I need to rebuild myself  To know me before I introduce myself to others In this strange atmosphere I realized that  I've discovered an ancient pulse  it’s found in every reciprocation  with born whispers from breathing souls  = reaching into every mind through grievances laid on walls    tagging through skin for best results via gentle touch and through these we find the divine that lifts us up And being alone I had only one place to search ,  further inward, down in the sub basement of my core  i needed a reflection of me to see me in the third person Am I searching for the divinity of god or the divinity from within?  it started when I was a boy and she was nothing in the void I was a boy a...
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Good Dead Day

good dead day
listen on youtube or here 


blood is oxidized by my stagnant feelings   
failing to touch you beneath your dirty thoughts
drowning the suns energy of the day with this and that   
anticipating a playful moon by night 
whisper to me the basic fact and
and I'll follow you to where it hurts 
and if we can't get it done, im okay, it'll still be another good dead day

let's lay in the suns courtyard the day after
let's toss horse shoes on what’s left of every loose end
i close my eyes for the night's arrival just like yesterday
i pause to stay and welcome you to the best of what my dreams can do

voices & memories reflected through photographs, 
once upon a time you promised me what’s to come
i found nothing but you staring back in denial, 
asking me why i bled for you?  
i gave you what i could, while you waited for the unknown showdown
and me? me? a day without anything done
it was a good dead day, and i'm still okay

did you lie to your self to believe in me as a choice and not settling? 
who's face was in the mirror?
was it a tight fight or a landslide victory over your own demons?
shadowy fiqures of your own creation will always be there, to hype you up 

outline to me the plan on how you wanted to color me bad, 
paint my agenda before i lose to the lingering sleep mode,
where ever you go tomorrow 
i'll be there to greet you with 25 roses plus 5 for spare 
wrapped up around my dreams sitting on hope
life is still perfect in my head and lies feed the journey 
& i’m still waiting for some credit for effort  
still i have until sun-up to make this truly a breakthrough day  
to break the cycle of those good dead days to a simple good day
either way, im still okay 

living to the extreme of desperate attempts, 
i live the day to absorb a solution, 
jetlag's of passing hours pushed my efforts sideways 
to the days dead end corners. 
going nowhere is the same, 
when i’m passing through a day that's good as dead right from the start 

reviewing all this by night i ask
was destroying me a passing phase? 
or was it desperation to ruin my good dead day? 
i have the bare minimum of a good day, and that's a good dead day
either way, im still okay 

i have the bare minimum of a good day, a good dead day
either way, im still okay 



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