holes in our passion v2
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holes in our passion v1
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Are you listening
let's go over last night by the bedside….
and how I tried to dethrone you,
a faulty mess in my passion
Take a second deep breath,
Regressing the reels of night,
the lapses between cold pauses
minor hesitations pulled you back some,
As impulses had pushed me on to you....
you uncovered me feeling the blurring lines
when I craved to carve you
when I infected you with malice notions
the truth I told you were just words in times of peace
Are you listening
peaking through key holes of chances
We introduce ourselves to each other with lies
hands reach out to touch
eyes glazing for that comfort
and our dreams on the backburner
We're only drifting souls in this childish game
when we realize that we have holes in our passion
So let's wipe this slate clean in motion for another try
Let's ditch the backfiring rules
Let's reflect on our pure intentions
I'm in it now for you; I wish you would too
we are the same with fine hearts
but instead, we're on this bed
decieving each other with holes in our passions.
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lyrics & vocals: azdi404
Music credit: She's My Drug by Farberbeats w/Daniel Saint
Jan 02 2022
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holes in our passion v1
let's go over last night by the bedside….
how I tried to dethrone you
a faulting mess in my passion 35
Take a second deep breath,
Regressing the reels of night,
the lapses between cold pauses
minor hesitations pulled you back some,
As impulses had pushed me on to you....
you uncovered me
because you felt the blurring lines
when I craved to carve you
when I infected you with malice notions
the truth I told you
were just words in times of peace
let's wipe this slate clean in motion for another try
let's ditch the backfiring rules
let's reflect on our pure intentions
I'm in it for you now; I wish you would too
We are the same with fine hearts,
but instead,
we're on this bed, deceiving each other
with holes in our passions. 205
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Jan 02, 2022
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lyrics & vocals by azdi404
music credit: https://pixabay.com/users/olexy-25300778/
by
Olexy the-beat-of-nature-122841==========================================
“Holes in Our Passion” is an intimate and painfully lucid portrayal of emotional disconnection—a confession that examines the erosion of love through self-deception, guilt, and longing for renewal. Unlike the mythic grandeur of your earlier poems (“Journey,” “New Religion”), this piece turns inward. It trades celestial imagery for the raw immediacy of a bedroom scene, where truth and vulnerability confront the ruins of intimacy.
Let’s unpack the poem’s themes, imagery, structure, and emotional arc.
I. Thematic Overview
1. Disillusionment in Love
The title, “Holes in Our Passion,” encapsulates the central theme: the slow decay of connection. The metaphor of “holes” suggests gaps in sincerity, empathy, and fulfillment—emotional voids that passion alone cannot fill.
“We introduce ourselves to each other with lies / Hands reach out to touch / Eyes glazing for that comfort”
This confession points to the paradox of intimacy: physical closeness coexisting with emotional distance. The lovers are together yet apart—their bodies in contact, their truths withheld.
2. Emotional Honesty vs. Performed Desire
The speaker is brutally self-aware. They recognize their own role in the mutual deception:
“And how I tried to dethrone you / A faulty mess in my passion”
“When I infected you with malice notions”
These lines blur the line between confession and accusation. The “dethroning” implies an attempt to level or dominate the beloved—love as a struggle for power rather than unity. The phrase “faulty mess” suggests self-reproach, while “infected you with malice” reveals emotional sabotage born of insecurity or pain.
The speaker knows that passion, unanchored by truth, becomes corruption.
3. Cycles of Ruin and Renewal
Despite the exhaustion, there remains a fragile hope for cleansing and renewal:
“So let’s wipe this slate clean in motion for another try”
“Let’s reflect on our pure intentions”
This impulse to begin again—despite knowing the past’s wreckage—reveals love’s tragic optimism. It mirrors the human tendency to seek redemption through repetition, to believe that passion can heal what it has destroyed.
II. Literary and Symbolic Devices
1. Intimate Setting as Confessional Space
“Let’s go over last night by the bedside”
The “bedside” is both literal and symbolic: a site of intimacy and confrontation. It evokes the post-coital moment of reckoning, where illusion fades and truth lingers in silence. Like a confessional booth, the bed becomes the stage where desire and remorse intersect.
2. Film Imagery
“Regressing the reels of night”
This cinematic metaphor suggests replaying memory like film—an act of revision and self-scrutiny. The speaker examines the night not as experience but as footage, emphasizing detachment and the analytical aftermath of passion.
3. Religious and Moral Undertones
“The truth I told you were just words in times of peace”
This line recalls the moral gravity of confession—truth as conditional, fragile. The reference to “times of peace” implies that honesty is a luxury, possible only when conflict subsides. Love here mirrors war: full of truces and betrayals.
4. Keyhole Motif
“Peeking through keyholes of chances”
A powerful image of voyeuristic vulnerability—suggesting secrecy, partial vision, and the inability to see the full picture of each other. Their relationship operates through narrow openings, never fully transparent.
III. Structure and Tone
The poem is structured as a single unfolding monologue—intimate, confessional, and rhythmically conversational. The tone evolves from guilt (“I tried to dethrone you”) to self-awareness (“We introduce ourselves with lies”) and finally to tentative hope (“Let’s wipe this slate clean”).
This tonal progression mirrors the emotional journey from confrontation to fragile reconciliation—a microcosm of the broader human cycle of wounding and healing within love.
IV. Psychological Reading
At its psychological core, the poem portrays the dual nature of intimacy: the yearning for closeness and the instinct for self-preservation. The lovers’ deceptions are not purely malicious—they’re defensive acts, attempts to protect ego and vulnerability.
“We are the same with fine hearts / But instead, we’re on this bed / Deceiving each other”
The recognition that “we are the same” reflects a moment of empathy, even amidst betrayal. The speaker sees the beloved not as enemy but as mirror—a shared human frailty.
V. Comparative Context
In relation to your previous works:
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“What I See” and “New Religion” elevate love to the realm of divinity and inspiration.
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“Holes in Our Passion,” by contrast, demythologizes it—bringing the divine down to earth, to flesh, guilt, and awkward truth.
The diction here is spare, direct, and conversational. Gone are the mythic “phoenixes” and “gods’ countries.” Instead, we encounter reels of night, keyholes, lies, and cold pauses. This grounded realism makes the emotional ache more immediate and human.
VI. The Poem’s Final Gesture
“Let’s ditch the backfiring rules
Let’s reflect on our pure intentions”
The repeated “let’s” becomes a soft plea for renewal, an echo of the poem’s opening “Are you listening.” The gesture is not grand but humble—an attempt to reconnect through shared vulnerability.
Yet, the final line refuses resolution:
“Deceiving each other with holes in our passions.”
The poem ends where it began—in paradox. Even in trying to repair love, they perpetuate the same broken patterns. This lack of closure gives the poem its emotional integrity. The “holes” are not patched; they are acknowledged.
VII. Closing Interpretation
“Holes in Our Passion” is a quiet, devastating meditation on intimacy as both salvation and self-deception.
It portrays lovers who see through their illusions but cannot stop enacting them—who crave redemption but are trapped in the choreography of desire and dishonesty.
The poem’s final strength lies in its candor: passion is not pure flame but something frayed, imperfect, and human—shot through with absence.
Would you like me to perform a line-by-line exegesis of this poem next—showing how the tone and meaning shift within each stanza’s imagery and syntax? That would reveal how the poem’s emotional rhythm mirrors the lovers’ psychological struggle.
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