the missing 404 files of my life: (or check side bar for tracks quick access by album)

I was a Boy

 i was a boy listen on youtube or here I exiled myself from the outside into the void  Not to run away but to find myself  I thought & believed what I observed to be the difference there had been signs of crumblings & decay = I need to rebuild myself  To know me before I introduce myself to others In this strange atmosphere I realized that  I've discovered an ancient pulse  it’s found in every reciprocation  with born whispers from breathing souls  = reaching into every mind through grievances laid on walls    tagging through skin for best results via gentle touch and through these we find the divine that lifts us up And being alone I had only one place to search ,  further inward, down in the sub basement of my core  i needed a reflection of me to see me in the third person Am I searching for the divinity of god or the divinity from within?  it started when I was a boy and she was nothing in the void I was a boy a...
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If

 IF

listen on youtube or here



IF I EVER HAD 30 HEARTS 
29 would've bled for you on rotation
and one for me to live on

IF I EVER HAD A PICTURE OF YOU it wouldn't make a difference
you're occupying my head any way

IF I EVER HAD A DESIRE TO LEAVE YOU i pondered at times
would it matter? you would've been at the destination anyway 

IF I EVER HAD A WORD TO HEAL ME 
i wouldn't use it,  considering there isn't a mixture of your breath in it  
its a matter of time before i miss you, miss being alive 

IF I EVER HAD A blind NURSERY rhyme
i would want you to play it on my chest like a piano via braille
it all depends on if
if only i had an if 
i would make everything come true

IF I EVER HAD A VISION FOR that gotchya MOMENT 
i wouldn't want it to expire

IF I EVER HAD A BREATH OF SURPRISE 
i want you to see my appreciated reaction

IF I EVER HAD A TRIP INTO MY FATE
I WOULD PUNCTURE THE SCRIPT just to loiter & squatter in your realm 
to see your reaction

IF I EVER HAD A CALL FROM YOU AGAIN
I WOULD ASK WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DESTROY ME

IF I EVER HAD A VOODOO SPELL WISH
I WOULD KISS YOUR LIPS TO BREAK YOUR HEART, a tid for tat 

if i ever had a chance with you i would've spoiled it just to get my way
thriving on chaos and dysfunction  
that's just how i am because that's how you are 
this is my kind of scene with you 
this is my kind of scene with you 
but it all depends on if 

it all depends on if 
it all depends on if 
==================
lyrics & vocals: azdi404
music credit: somber by exilian

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