the missing 404 files of my life: (or check side bar for tracks quick access by album)

I was a Boy

 i was a boy listen on youtube or here I exiled myself from the outside into the void  Not to run away but to find myself  I thought & believed what I observed to be the difference there had been signs of crumblings & decay = I need to rebuild myself  To know me before I introduce myself to others In this strange atmosphere I realized that  I've discovered an ancient pulse  it’s found in every reciprocation  with born whispers from breathing souls  = reaching into every mind through grievances laid on walls    tagging through skin for best results via gentle touch and through these we find the divine that lifts us up And being alone I had only one place to search ,  further inward, down in the sub basement of my core  i needed a reflection of me to see me in the third person Am I searching for the divinity of god or the divinity from within?  it started when I was a boy and she was nothing in the void I was a boy a...
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Failure to Launch

failure to launch
listen on youtube or here



fast love passed me by without a glance
i was late for the last train track back to lalyland
i lost my laughter fading with the rear lights
I bid my kith & kins a farewell with a rock lullaby "I'm closer to the edge" 
and 3 fake smiles for others to admire as spare 

I have a memorial design in hand to participate 
to Show off in your annual carnage parade
Instilling fear in those challenging fools but me.
and I’ll justify the lie 
I'll Retreat into the oceans covering 2/3 of the earth
away from where you cover the rest.”
where you heart surf the vulnerable 


Let me converse with you at a sidewalk cafe 
I'll blend in with scrolling screens seeking the evening news
taking you out of your element sniping me as your latest trend
I'll Throw stones at the sky when away
crawl into holes for re-enforcement thoughts
confessing I didn’t obey the false positive callings
but because the autistic shape of my heart
it  chose to deceive me
still, you’re roaming on slow clouds   
touching galaxies wearing me out, 


I've been moonstruck through the red times
and a ferocious heart that missed a hajj to your bedroom
to implement the ritual of you plundering me
there's a clairvoyant omen behind my participation
my shadows are now free skin-walking scavengers escaping a bone cage 
defending the fragile remaining poetry in god's country 
while everyone else is loving and breeding
the reason I'm here is to get my shine
we just might shimmer all the way
you, a statue of fascination carved into the souls of many 


i was pretty much alone 
with satin sheets you once wrapped yourself in 
but to spawn this photo into flesh & bones
from the heavens I’m coming to arrest the sun
bail the moon out
block the winds,
re-release petty utopia dreams
shaking up my world I'll be here doused in bleach,
I've registered so far a failure to launch plan from under your iron fist reign
witnesses observed you smirking at the thought 
did you really?


It’s five till midnight 
I’m here with a cup of coffee
at the oriental express station
a crowd of one. 
my next stop is that open field
by the geyser, 
by the old faithful,
deserving my time,
something lonely like me.
and you laly? I'll be back for you in sometime to come
I'll be back for you laly 
I'll be back for you laly 
one day 
I'll be back for you laly 
one day 

================
lyrics & vocals: azdi404
music credit: decay by Exilian

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