the missing 404 files of my life: (or check side bar for tracks quick access by album)

I was a Boy

 i was a boy listen on youtube or here I exiled myself from the outside into the void  Not to run away but to find myself  I thought & believed what I observed to be the difference there had been signs of crumblings & decay = I need to rebuild myself  To know me before I introduce myself to others In this strange atmosphere I realized that  I've discovered an ancient pulse  it’s found in every reciprocation  with born whispers from breathing souls  = reaching into every mind through grievances laid on walls    tagging through skin for best results via gentle touch and through these we find the divine that lifts us up And being alone I had only one place to search ,  further inward, down in the sub basement of my core  i needed a reflection of me to see me in the third person Am I searching for the divinity of god or the divinity from within?  it started when I was a boy and she was nothing in the void I was a boy a...
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Untitled Story

untitled story

listen on youtube or here



I, one of the few and proud fools entering your arena
Conscripted by loneliness 
Just because I got drugged by your smile
I, by my own resolve challenged to capture you 
or something of you 

but where did i go wrong ?
did i give off the wrong scent?
waiting for you in that 2nd Ave smoke shop 
i just needed someone to help me feel 
i never intended to cross you
i was addicted to tales of your trips away and days at home
and i was violated by your smile overdosing me when i rest my head 

i anticipated you between the hello's and goodbye's every other day 
so Hold me now, my facial expressions lost it's shape shifting abilities  
malfunctioning and now it's set only to greet you 
I feel the contagion molesting my heart  
so come lay next to me discover anthologies beneath my bones  
let me infect you with sterile pre & post-us drafts & memories
traces of stuttering clips and hints of grievances against you
that might slip your attention and burn to waste

it takes a Little time until i hemorrhage you from my head 
Walls layered with scented cream holding back the bends 

Seeking shelter from your delicately soft femineity 
parts of me I've preserved just laid there where I lost them
and tomorrows hope enveloped & undelivered
it was over for them before they began 
laying In the coffin like palms of my hands

and i still ask myself where did i go wrong?
did i give off the wrong scent?
i just needed someone to help me feel 

now my fetal thoughts aborted
a song from life burned 
but life still turns a page 
without a story that has no name
to show me how to live without you 
but i might just try one more day  
to revive me in a story that might burn to waste
so i write these poems for you laly 
to remember me by when I'm gone in the way of ashes and dust
you just might remember me one day when I'm gone 
in the way of ashes and dust
you just might revive the story and give it a name 
laly 
you just might revive the story and give it a name 
============
lyrics & vocals: azdi404
music credit: relief by Umberto C
=========

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