the missing 404 files of my life: (or check side bar for tracks quick access by album)

I was a Boy

 i was a boy listen on youtube or here I exiled myself from the outside into the void  Not to run away but to find myself  I thought & believed what I observed to be the difference there had been signs of crumblings & decay = I need to rebuild myself  To know me before I introduce myself to others In this strange atmosphere I realized that  I've discovered an ancient pulse  it’s found in every reciprocation  with born whispers from breathing souls  = reaching into every mind through grievances laid on walls    tagging through skin for best results via gentle touch and through these we find the divine that lifts us up And being alone I had only one place to search ,  further inward, down in the sub basement of my core  i needed a reflection of me to see me in the third person Am I searching for the divinity of god or the divinity from within?  it started when I was a boy and she was nothing in the void I was a boy a...
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Tania after 6

Tania after 6  

listen on youtube or here 



tania, you're never home until after 6 
you pass me by lonely with your elegant walk  
you come tired beaten by the day
leaving words & people behind
day in, day out, always after 6  

you can’t lay your head down, without the thousand of thoughts sailing away
you’re still looking for that someone to smile to you & with you
and it seems like yesterday, that you’ve found that someone, 
but he changed just like the seasons, like the pre-yesterdays.  
you pass by broken, I've read the hurt in your eyes.

picking five numbers of your choice , one for good luck
for a lotto chance, but it also fails you 

your slender fingers embracing the pen like a newborn baby 
carving the words to your favorite song, 
killing me softly
it’s hard to give birth to words 
when your lips feel time is stagnant

curling up on that cold bed & gently scrolling the lines of a novel, 
wishing you were there, diving between the smiles & the tears, 
chased by a villain and rescued by a protagonist, 

but you walk away with nothing in the end 
nothing but shattered dreams & all you do is runaway to sleep
into a vacant hug, an empty kiss, the short memory reel, 
play your love theme note by note
rest your eyes, let your heart fly away to catch a renegade dream, 
it might touch someone

you wonder how many people live like you, 
live like you in sync with the cold steel clock hands ticking around the dial lifeless
& that warm hour seems so far away, 

i can tell you that i don’t know you much
but i know i feel you from ages, 
the day you walked in a burned out, 
tired exiled princess
you’re still holding your head high & i really like your way

remember tania, wherever you go, 
there is someone asking himself the same questions you are,
i ask myself the same question
this is just some of what i feel from you
if I'm not reading you right, don’t mind me tania. 
I'll see you after 6 .... and read your eyes & moves again
I'll see you after 6 tania

(for Tania Philips-a wonderful love that never happened). 
 
lyrics & vocals : azdi404
music credit: beyond by Umberto C
=========

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