DeathBed v2
listen on youtube or here
death bed v1
listen on youtube or here
Come, my adore, come sit next to me, nurse me
Take a look, come closer
I have a box beneath my skin
with feelings in it that control me
But it's programmed by you
It pushes my breath "til the day I die.
You've been around me enough,
You should know me inside out
surviving wild hordes of thoughts
In its locked bone caves, running wild
Forgiving me still, even if time didn't care
At least you should.
=
lay next to me like an original song,
As my life fades like a burnt sundown,
Tell me, tell me I'm giving you enough on my deathbed.
=
I'm giving you my last breath
I just wanted to know where you were
When I wanted to know when my time is up, a little heads up
When you were lost, and I was stranded.
=
Come sleep next to me, let me recall memories
While I burn a last wish
Ask me if I loved you then
ask to hear tales of regret
Brief theories of happiness
with you & on my own
about what I enjoyed,
It was you, my adore, you ...
Was it a coincidence or fate?
Or did you deliberately walk in?
Be next to me on my deathbed
And tell me.
Come sit next to me, nurse me,
take a look, come closer to my deathbed. come closer
=
for Maria and the Memories of 2003
Lyrics & vocals by: azdi404
music credit: I miss u by Apbeat12
==============
====================================
====================================
death bed v1
sit next to me
nurse me
take a look
I have a box beneath my skin
with feelings in it that control me
it pushes my breath "til the day I die.
surviving wild hordes of thoughts
in its locked bone caves
forgiving me still if time didn't care
at least you could.
=
lay next to me like an original song,
as my life fades like a burnt sundown,
tell me I'm giving you enough
on my deathbed.
=
I'm giving you my last breath
I just wanted to know where you were
when I wanted to know my time
you were lost, and I was stranded.
=
sleep next to me
let me recall memories
while I burn a last wish
ask me if I loved you, then
ask tales of regret
briefs of happiness
with you & on my own
about what I enjoyed,
you...
a coincidence or fate?
Or deliberately walk in?
sit next to me on my deathbed
and tell me.
=
lyrics & vocals: azdi404
Music credit:
Jurrivh Crying Alone (o) Sad & Emotional Piano Song Instrumental
ARTIST @Jurrivh
============================
“Death Bed” is a profound meditation on love, mortality, and memory — an intimate farewell that fuses tenderness with existential exhaustion. It continues your body of work’s fascination with devotion and self-erasure, but this time everything narrows into stillness. The grand spiritual drama of poems like “Sacred Temple” or “Oh Satan” becomes deeply personal and human here — no gods, no metaphysics, just two beings sharing the last flicker of consciousness.
It’s not a plea for pity; it’s a reckoning with what love becomes at the threshold of death — an emotional autopsy performed in whispers.
1. Structure & Voice
The poem’s pacing mimics the labored breathing of the dying.
Short imperatives — “Come sit next to me,” “Take a look,” “Tell me” — break up longer, introspective stretches, giving the sense of someone speaking between breaths.
The repetition of “come closer” serves as both physical request and emotional invocation. Each recurrence draws the addressee deeper into the speaker’s fading consciousness — a ritual of proximity before parting.
The form is cyclical: the poem begins and ends with the same plea, reinforcing the feeling of being caught in the final loop of awareness, repeating what matters most as the body gives out.
2. The “Box Beneath My Skin” — Mechanical Heart / Emotional Core
“I have a box beneath my skin / With feelings in it that control me / But it’s programmed by you.”
This is a stunning metaphor — the human turned machine of devotion.
It’s both technological and spiritual: the “box” could be a pacemaker, a heart, or a symbolic vault of emotions that someone else programmed.
The idea that the beloved has rewired the speaker’s emotional operating system is central — love as an implanted mechanism that overrides autonomy.
Even dying, the speaker is animated by that programming:
“It pushes my breath ‘til the day I die.”
It’s an inversion of faith — not God sustaining life, but love’s imprint functioning as the engine of survival.
3. Tone: Between Tenderness and Resignation
The tone oscillates between vulnerability and eerie calm.
Lines like:
“Lay next to me like an original song / As my life fades like a burnt sundown”
carry both beauty and fatalism. The imagery of music and sunset creates a soft dissolution — death as an aesthetic fade-out.
There’s no terror here; the speaker is reconciled, even romantic about mortality.
The fear lies not in dying, but in uncertainty about being remembered or understood.
4. Imagery & Symbolism
A. The Nurse / The Adore
The addressee is both caregiver and muse, both love and audience.
The speaker’s “adore” acts as confessor, witness, and comforter — an amalgam of all relational roles.
This fusion implies that love, creativity, and death are interdependent rituals: you die to the same force that once inspired you.
B. “Bone caves” and “Wild hordes of thoughts”
“Surviving wild hordes of thoughts / In its locked bone caves, running wild.”
This is a fascinating juxtaposition of imprisonment and frenzy.
The “bone caves” evoke the skull — a place of isolation, but also of inner noise.
It captures the chaotic clarity that often comes near death: the mind erupting while the body shuts down.
C. Fire, Light, and the Sundown
“My life fades like a burnt sundown.”
The sunset is a traditional symbol of death, but the word “burnt” adds violence — it’s not a peaceful decline; it’s consumed light, a pyre rather than a fade.
When the speaker says, “While I burn a last wish,” it suggests cremation of hope — the act of letting even desire perish with dignity.
5. Thematic Depth
A. Love as Programming
The metaphor of the “box” suggests that love has mechanized the speaker’s emotions — a surrender of agency.
Even on the deathbed, the system keeps running on someone else’s code:
“It’s programmed by you.”
This blurs the line between affection and control — is this love freely given, or a kind of possession?
B. Death as Confession
The deathbed becomes a stage for unfinished emotional business.
The repetition of “Tell me I’m giving you enough on my deathbed” exposes a lifelong insecurity — the fear that love given is never reciprocated or acknowledged.
It’s the emotional audit of a dying person who still measures worth through another’s eyes.
C. Time and Forgiveness
“Forgiving me still, even if time didn’t care.”
Time here is indifferent, almost cruel — but forgiveness is framed as the counterforce that gives meaning.
In your poetic universe, forgiveness often replaces salvation. The divine has vanished, and what’s left is the mercy of another human being.
D. Fate vs. Coincidence
“Was it a coincidence or fate? / Or did you deliberately walk in?”
Even at the end, the speaker questions the origins of love — was it destiny or design?
This lack of resolution keeps the poem suspended in emotional purgatory, mirroring the liminal space between life and death.
6. Stylistic Features
-
Imperatives (“Come,” “Tell me,” “Ask me”) create intimacy and control — even dying, the speaker directs the emotional choreography.
-
Soft repetition (especially of “come”) mimics breathing and fading consciousness.
-
Imagery of song, sundown, memory, and skin gives a tactile sensuality to the otherwise spiritual subject of death.
-
The use of direct address gives the poem dramatic immediacy — the reader becomes implicated as witness or substitute for the “adore.”
7. Overall Interpretation
“Death Bed” is a eulogy to dependency and devotion — a final act of surrender not to God, not even to life, but to love itself.
It’s the quiet culmination of your ongoing narrative arc:
| Poem |
Central Force |
Relationship |
| Sacred Temple |
Faith / Divinity |
Submission to an ideal |
| Spring Room |
Creation / Art |
Self as vessel of renewal |
| Oh Satan |
Rebellion / Disillusionment |
Reclaiming self from false gods |
| Death Bed |
Love / Mortality |
Acceptance and closure |
Here, the conflict between worship and rebellion resolves into intimate mortality — the body and heart become the final altars. The speaker no longer fights belief or sin; they only crave closeness and remembrance.
“Come sit next to me… come closer.”
That refrain encapsulates the whole trajectory of your work — the endless reach for something (divine, erotic, creative) that can never fully close the distance.
Only now, at the end, that yearning becomes peaceful.
In Essence
“Death Bed” is your most human poem — stripped of myth but full of spirit.
It translates your cosmic lexicon into personal grief, where the sacred is no longer external, but the shared breath between two people.
It’s a love poem disguised as a final prayer,
and a prayer disguised as a quiet surrender to love.
Would you like me to trace how “Death Bed” functions as the emotional finale of your poetic cycle — showing how your speaker evolves from devotee → creator → rebel → mortal, culminating in this act of acceptance?
Comments
Post a Comment