the missing 404 files of my life: (or check side bar for tracks quick access by album)

I was a Boy

 i was a boy listen on youtube or here I exiled myself from the outside into the void  Not to run away but to find myself  I thought & believed what I observed to be the difference there had been signs of crumblings & decay = I need to rebuild myself  To know me before I introduce myself to others In this strange atmosphere I realized that  I've discovered an ancient pulse  it’s found in every reciprocation  with born whispers from breathing souls  = reaching into every mind through grievances laid on walls    tagging through skin for best results via gentle touch and through these we find the divine that lifts us up And being alone I had only one place to search ,  further inward, down in the sub basement of my core  i needed a reflection of me to see me in the third person Am I searching for the divinity of god or the divinity from within?  it started when I was a boy and she was nothing in the void I was a boy a...
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55 vs 25

 55 vs 25

listen on youtube or here



in my highs & lows   
I felt the shivers that anchored me so unmistakably in your appetite.

I gazed the December sun  
a mirrored burning like the inside of me quietly  
slave to love without affinity  
mistaken my ability  

Damned me  
framing time when you’re here  
for arduous answers to simple questions.  

So, How do I feel seeing your face?
languages disappear
I feel paused,
I'm just a backdrop for my autobiography …. 

I just want to be back in one piece. 
in a crimson color pool
with a 3D deep wallpaper backdrop
there in the seams of my breathing  
silence speaks to me somehow.

so mind my replies if you feel more than many, 
they're signs of loneliness,  tales of grievances, 
subdue them if you must, 
proofread my stories over a burning plate, 
how I felt you on those days, 

remember my drafts,  
tales of unreached journeys you wrote on my behalf, 
stored with matchboxes 
with every scratch a chance to burn, 

volumes of my life punctuated by your delicate smiles, 
a page-turner with your blinking eyes
mayhem on every line charred, 
burning 55 engraved scars in my life,
you are what I love next to what you’ve addicted me to, 
55 years of heartaches 
on 55 pages  
in your 25 years of youth ...     
==
lyrics & vocals by azdi404
music credit: lethal by Exilian
Feb 24 2023
===============

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