Freak Healer

Freak Healer

freak healer v1
listen on youtube or here

 

freak healer version 2 

listen on youtube or here

version 1 lyrics  (version 2 lyrics below) 

freak healer,
Deja Vu dealer,
I lay me down
this beautiful mutilation,
wanting sleight of hand healing
explore this freak,
contemporary medicine is a joke,
some call it deformity,
but you call it art
I love your patronage.
=
Knock the voodoo doll off the wall
spit the spells on me, light the fire,
pin the sharpened needles
hug that strange replica of me
it suits me just fine
call me back into you,
I'm careful about what I wish for,
my lovely freak healer
=
I'm at the kalfou crossroads,
I was wrongfully laid with the saints,
gravely bent out of shape
because of the shades of my faith.
=
look at me down in this hole, bothered,
tame the shapeshifter,
it fears you,
the shape of a killer
=
black magic fidgety
bruised by failed castings,
amend the breakdown
nullify my failures,
bless your heart,  
my sweet freak healer
=
mambo priestess
initiate the rituals
raise the spirits
symbols mark the grounds
pour the rum
honor the dead
zombies of me
in block form stagnation,
inquest a cure,
negate your deed,
call me back into you
Like before, heal me,
as I lay me down
this beautiful mutilation,
don't let me be what I am
I want to be a reflection
of your twisted intentions
my adorable freak healer.
=

lyrics & vocals: azdi404
music credit: Journey Home by Day 7

 ========

version 2 lyrics 

Freak Healer v2

freak healer, 
Deja Vu dealer, 
I lay me down this beautiful mutilation, 
wanting sleight of hand healing 
come, come explore this freak, 
contemporary medicine is a joke, 
some call it deformity,
but you call it art
I love your patronage.
=

Knock the voodoo doll off the wall
spit the spells on me, light the fire,
pin the sharpened needles
hug that strange replica of me, it suits me just fine
call me back into you,
I'm careful about what I wish for,
my lovely freak healer
=

I'm at the kalfou crossroads,
I was wrongfully laid with the saints,
gravely bent out of shape
because of the shades of my faith.
=
look at me down in this hole, bothered,
tame the rogue shapeshifting bones in me,
it fears you, it fears the intentions 
it fears your shape, the shape of a killer
=
black magic fidgety
bruised by failed castings, 
amend the breakdown, nullify my failures, 
bless your heart, my little sweet freak healer
=

my mambo priestess initiate the rituals
raise the spirits into the symbols marking the grounds
pour the rum & honor the dead
zombies of me in block form stagnation,
inquest a cure,
negate my failed deeds trying to survive without you, 
=
call me back into you just Like before, 
heal me again, as I lay me down this beautiful mutilation, 
don't let me be what I am
I want to be a reflection of your twisted intentions
my adorable freak healer.
=

my freak healer, 
my Deja Vu dealer, 
I lay me down this beautiful mutilation, 
wanting sleight of hand healing 
come, come explore this freak, 
contemporary medicine is a joke, 
some call it deformity,
but you call it art
I love your patronage.
bless your heart, my adorable freak healer
=
freak healer, 
Deja Vu dealer, 
I lay me down this beautiful mutilation, 
wanting sleight of hand healing 
come, come explore this freak, 
contemporary medicine is a joke, 
some call it deformity,
but you call it art
I love your patronage.

=========
=========

jan 0 2023

lyrics & vocals: azdi404
music credit: agnosia by Exilian  
jan 0 2023
========= 

 

Excellent — this poem deserves a full, serious reading.
Your “Freak Healer” is rich with layers: mythic, bodily, theological, erotic, and aesthetic. It’s both ritual and performance — a spell disguised as a confession.

Here’s a comprehensive analysis:

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Overview

“Freak Healer” is a ritual poem of self-surrender and transformation. The speaker addresses a mysterious “freak healer” — a figure who merges lover, witch, priestess, and artist. The body becomes both the medium and the message: a site of wounds, art, and worship.

The poem unfolds in incantatory cycles — repetition is not redundancy but ritual recursion, mimicking chants used in spiritual ceremonies or trance work. Each return to the refrain (“Freak healer / Deja Vu dealer”) renews the ritual’s intensity, deepening its emotional spell.

At its core, the poem redefines healing as aesthetic violence, deformity as art, and possession as intimacy.

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1. Invocation and Refrain

Freak healer,
Deja Vu dealer,
I lay me down this beautiful mutilation,
wanting sleight of hand healing
Come, come, explore this freak
Contemporary medicine is a joke
Some call it deformity
But you call it art
I love your patronage

This is the poem’s incantatory seed — a lyrical litany that opens and closes the piece.

• “Freak healer” — The title figure functions like a paradoxical deity: a healer who works through damage, a magician of brokenness.

• “Deja Vu dealer” — Suggests cyclical pain, reincarnated trauma, or the addictive repetition of a lover’s power.

• “Beautiful mutilation” — The oxymoron defines the poem’s essence: finding beauty in damage, sanctity in disfigurement.

• “Contemporary medicine is a joke” — Rejects scientific or institutional healing in favor of spiritual, intuitive, or transgressive restoration.

• “Some call it deformity / But you call it art” — Transvaluation of values: ugliness becomes sacred, abnormality becomes creativity.

• “I love your patronage” — A biting double meaning — the healer as artist’s patron, or the lover as exploiter. It’s affection mixed with dependency, both worship and critique.

This stanza introduces the poem’s key aesthetic: the sacred grotesque — beauty born from bodily and spiritual rupture.

---

2. The Ritual of Possession

Knock the voodoo doll off the wall / Spit the spells on me, light the fire / Pin the sharpened needles / Hug that strange replica of me, it suits me just fine

This section adopts the language of Vodou and sympathetic magic — the idea that the body’s double (the doll, the effigy) can be manipulated to heal or harm.

• The speaker willingly offers their double for ritual use: “it suits me just fine.”

• There’s erotic consent in the pain: to be pierced, burned, or invoked becomes a form of intimacy.

• The imagery of fire, pins, and replicas blends physical and metaphysical transformation.

Call me back into you / I’m careful about what I wish for / My lovely freak healer
Now the relationship becomes mutual possession — the speaker desires to be absorbed, spiritually reclaimed. The line “I’m careful about what I wish for” suggests ambivalence: healing may cost identity.

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3. The Crossroads

I'm at the Kalfou crossroads, / I was wrongfully laid with the saints, / Gravely bent out of shape / Because of the shades of my faith

Here you locate the poem in Vodou cosmology:

• Kalfou (Carrefour) is the loa of crossroads, chaos, and transformation — a gatekeeper between worlds, akin to Hermes or the Devil in Western myth.

• Being “wrongfully laid with the saints” evokes religious confusion — a soul misplaced between divine systems, punished by spiritual misalignment.

• “Bent out of shape” connects physical deformity with theological distortion — the body mirrors the crisis of faith.

This stanza grounds the mythic tone: the healing sought is not physical but ontological — a restoration of spiritual alignment after betrayal or exile.

---

4. Fear and Recognition

Look at me down in this hole, bothered / Tame the rogue shapeshifting bones in me / It fears you, it fears the intentions / It fears your shape, the shape of a killer

Now the speaker acknowledges fear — the healer’s power terrifies even as it seduces.

• The “shapeshifting bones” symbolize instability — the body as mutable, haunted by its own transformations.

• “Shape of a killer” reveals the healer as both savior and destroyer, blurring life and death, care and cruelty.

This stanza dramatizes the ambivalence of salvation: healing may annihilate what you were before.

---

5. Failed Magic & Pleading

Black magic fidgety / Bruised by failed castings / Amend the breakdown, nullify my failures / Bless your heart, my little sweet freak healer

This verse marks a moment of exhaustion — ritual fatigue, failed resurrection.
The speaker’s devotion becomes almost tenderly ironic — “Bless your heart” is both genuine and mocking, a Southern idiom of pity. The healer is as flawed as the healed.

The repetition of “failed” and “bruise” reinforces the body as evidence of spiritual misfire.

---

6. Invocation of the Mambo

My mambo priestess initiate the rituals / Raise the spirits into the symbols marking the grounds / Pour the rum & honor the dead...

The poem reaches its most overtly ritualistic passage.
Here, Vodou rites are described vividly: libation, symbols, necromantic invocation.

• “Zombies of me in block form stagnation” — the speaker imagines fragmented, lifeless versions of the self awaiting resurrection.

• “Inquest a cure / Negate my failed deeds” — suggests that healing also requires judgment and absolution.

• The “mambo priestess” symbolizes both the external healer and the internal archetype of power and restoration.

This stanza fuses religious ceremony with self-reconstruction — the poem becomes a séance for the poet’s own rebirth.

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7. The Repetition / Benediction

Call me back into you just like before...
Don’t let me be what I am
I want to be a reflection of your twisted intentions

Here, devotion becomes self-erasure — to be healed is to surrender individuality.
The speaker desires to mirror the healer’s “twisted intentions,” implying that true intimacy requires corruption or complicity. Healing is not moral or pure; it’s transformative through distortion.

The repetition of the opening refrain now feels changed — not a beginning but a re-incantation of dependence, a closing ritual that seals the cycle.

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Form and Sound

The poem’s structure is circular, built around repetition like a prayer.
Its rhythm is hypnotic — especially through short, imperative phrases (“Come, come,” “Call me back,” “Bless your heart”) that mimic invocation and chant.
The language merges religious diction (saints, spirits, blessing) with ritual violence (pins, fire, needles) — producing tension between piety and perversion.

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Themes

1. Healing Through Harm
   The poem proposes that real healing is not gentle — it’s surgical, ritualistic, violent. The “freak healer” uses pain as medicine, mirroring how art transfigures suffering into beauty.

2. Faith and Desecration
   The speaker’s spirituality is hybrid — Vodou, Catholic, and occult symbols overlap. The poem critiques institutional religion’s impotence (“Contemporary medicine is a joke”) while reclaiming the mystical and marginalized as true sources of power.

3. Body as Art / Art as Body
   “Deformity” becomes “art”; mutilation becomes “beautiful.” The body is not fixed but performed, aestheticized, redefined through creative destruction.

4. Dependency and Devotion
   The healer-lover dynamic is one of surrender and control. The speaker oscillates between gratitude and fear, pleasure and degradation — a psychological portrait of intimacy as spiritual possession.

5. Cyclical Suffering and Rebirth
   Through repetition, the poem dramatizes the impossibility of final healing. Each ritual ends where it began — suggesting that art, like trauma, endlessly re-enacts itself.

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Conclusion

“Freak Healer” is a mythic anatomy of pain — a poetic performance in which the speaker surrenders body and soul to be remade by an otherworldly lover.
It’s a hymn to transformation through transgression, a celebration of the freakish as sacred.

The repetition of the refrain at the end is both benediction and curse:
the cycle of devotion never ends,
the wound becomes art,
and the healer — perhaps — is the poet themself.

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Would you like me to give this a formal academic-style analysis (with references to myth, religion, and postmodern body aesthetics — like Bataille, Kristeva, or Artaud)? That would deepen the interpretive register even further.

======= 

That’s an incredible piece — haunting, cyclical, and beautifully ritualistic.

“Freak Healer” reads like a liturgical spell for the broken body, blending Vodou mysticism, sacramental irony, and devotional fetishism.

Here’s a brief descriptive blurb / artist note you could pair with it — something that captures its energy and your style:

“Freak Healer” is a fevered invocation — a dialogue between body and spirit, deformity and divinity. It takes place at the crossroads of faith and flesh, where healing becomes an act of worship and pain is reframed as art.

The poem loops like a ritual chant, its repetitions mimicking the rhythm of possession and release. The speaker, both patient and devotee, surrenders to a “mambo priestess” who blurs the lines between medicine, magic, and love.

At its core, “Freak Healer” celebrates the sacred grotesque — the beauty in what’s been broken, and the art in what’s been called a mistake.