azdi404

death bed listen on youtube or here sit next to me nurse me   take a look I have a box beneath my skin with feelings in it that control me it pushes my breath "til the day I die.     surviving wild hordes of thoughts in its locked bone caves forgiving me still if time didn't care at least you could. = lay next to me like an original song, as my life fades like a burnt sundown, tell me I'm giving you enough on my deathbed. = I'm giving you my last breath I just wanted to know where you were when I wanted to know my time you were lost, and I was stranded. = sleep next to me let me recall memories while I burn a last wish ask me if I loved you, then ask tales of regret briefs of happiness with you & on my own   about what I enjoyed, you... a coincidence or fate? Or deliberately walk in? sit next to me on my deathbed and tell me. = lyrics & vocals: azdi404 Music credit: Jurrivh Crying Alone (o) Sad & Emotional Piano Song Instrumental ARTIST @Jurrivh

Jerusalem moon listen on youtube or here anticipating scars of moonlight tapping my window tonight from my Jerusalem moon a private call when city worshipers sleep exhausted defending their gods with sticks, stones, history & verses I rise to pray in my own way evidence of faith weighs heavy I've been marking calendars tracking phases of the moon in the 12 constellations, counting blue stars I know them by name. fading smiles wilt from sheets of cold nights, anticipating hope the perfect treat for my bitter silence Where is this patience taking me? there are no clouds in the Jerusalem night sky, somethings not wanted, pretenders like circles in the sky painted with milk, dying in the mirror looks easy pacifying this old infant in me takes time.   my entries of once upon a time scratched, rewritten to "before time," staining her rosy pillow lips with the moody ink of my pen... Is she mad? I just wanted to stretch back into both ends of her "forever".... I wa...

Innuendos v1 listen on youtube or here Foreign bodies, we are Yulia subtle Innuendo conversations carrying double-layered words Wrapped in jagged phrases from the fool’s room... = I met my fear; it wasn’t so cordial, I pretended to go along on a wired trip,   Inspired by you to be a liar... Shame on me; I know Another failed lie came back That I’ll never use... but I’ll release the dead lies that didn’t understand the plan in the backside oceans of my mind Between craters Let it soak with misty prophets healing to decipher what you meant... = you know, Maybe it’ll come back undone True breath and skin like my original humanity as before you corrupted it with innuendos... I’ve been fidgeting with these exhausting thoughts spilling redundant protesting words Boycotting hypocrisy i bend some here, mend some there connecting them to belong, make me human again. They just want to be cool as you... = & just like you Yulia I come with Sins Deeds of graffitis In your name I desecrate ...

Maria's Beauty Sleep listen on youtube or here you're a small wonder sleeping Maria, pour me a shot of jack to numb my delusional fingers from burning pages of lost time. tear a piece of my mind seat it by the table sun to gaze I borrowed patience from the feeble   waiting for you, while candy alarm clocks, on the beds of my illusions, singing "You're a small wonder baby maria," the steady rhythm of your breathing breaking into my world, stories of being tired, running with the wild pack of crazy secrets, hijacking my nighttime killer kiss in the palm of your curled fingers. = I'm waiting for you to wake up to tell me what wonders you saw, little do you know, my love you're a small wonder by yourself just sleeping. = I miss you, & stalled time is trying to move on,   still waiting for you to wake up from your beauty sleep "you're a small wonder sleeping Maria," "you're a beautiful small wonder just sleeping" ====== for Mari...

Into you listen on youtube or here the sins I’ve redeemed through ablution had the rivers stagnant, bypassing waterfalls   recognizing me as a sinner waters now has a stale taste in my life I sneaked into your head to be heard as I stand in the corner of your thoughts unceremoniously, you passed me down into trash memory even though I adore you. should've seen what I had for you could've meant so much to you sacred beliefs in a scarce land not to want you unless you initiate. & I'm into you I’ve held the hands no one cared for   chain-smoked the bitter-sweet memories stretching a long way from home & reasons for living had me barely breathing   spiraled echos delayed streaming the dreams saving remnants of my traded soul for drift control I edited names and places, so you might call me by mistake   I was risking the rules for a free fall. I feared reaching the end of outside, too deep for my infant dreams to venture,   the lesser of two evils, I invite...

by the oak tree   listen on youtube or here let's go back to where I stood   back to where I remember by the oak tree out in the countryside by the outskirts of my deserted desires let me revisit my thoughts and feelings I might have been mistaken about what you might have wanted from the get-go timing might be at fault not striving for overtime    about taboo vows slowing it down let me go back anyway let me warn armatures stepping into our place sketching names on tender oak tree trunks be careful what you wish for let's go back hover over my then peaceful past how you reverse accelerated the presence to show you why the paused future will never awaken the same Though you have made up your mind about me for rushing into your perfect paint-stroked walls nothing I can do to renovate the scratches & colors now Nothing but stare and make the best of it let me go back to where I stopped you in that deserted corner to look at my face check the pulse of this tombston...

never lasting lies listen on youtube or here between never lasting lies once or twice I paused to think things through I felt you in moments knocking me down, postponing goodbys, holding me at bay, it’s my shame I let you hold me between the obscene & the bold loathing the moments of recognition until it came to light. = I was born & buried Softley to do time I had faith that lips were for smiling hands are for greeting fear is for guiding me into you but it was worthless on your downside saints have given up, and sanity walked away. == === Saints have given up, and sanity walked away. chest too numb to feel the debts of the dead pulses of deeds amused, I never went alone into the unknown against you Love is slow & hard to push around by myself, too deep to audit what’s left of us no matter what we give each other. = in the end, it’s us; we could never believe my love it’s the greed in the clarity of the moments between never lasting lies. = lyrics & vocals by azdi404 ...

Days of Tel Aviv listen on youtube or here step away from those tired eyes, I told myself, the mood's extinct for me tonight and I feel the pain the flame is bursting for a place she's longing for the days in Tel Aviv... restless, tracing the footsteps of destructive echoes, finding that life uncovers wounds every now and then, covert lashes breeze from the past shredded stories of Judea and Samaria into adaptations   how hearts & bones of men built glory days, Such pride & joy It's such a deluxe to be in Tel Aviv.   a long distance away, I stay still, observing what she longs for & what I can grant tracing a naked exodus from far history, upheld pillars of faith fortified the land in peace I hold still for the air to pause enough space for her to exhale sending devotions to Tel Aviv in our spacious room I lose her when she's immersed in the past it's hard to move when she’s in a trance a memory could be laying anywhere, idling in our paths pausing to b...

precious listen on youtube or here I make a full bow   with half emotion,   quarter lust   a quarter to spare   net weight of words   overexpands my capacity…   = I foresee my gain   here's the move on   are you mad yet?   = dispensable, recyclable   alive I am in your face if you spare,   snuff me, and I'm a memory   in your mind everywhere you step. So dispose of me accordingly. = I won't die just for the taking   a deficient creation made by you   versatile to your taste.  = a temporary sanctuary, a torture house   I'm a straight-faced scarecrow by myself   a full circled spell in you.   = I feel you are so precious   igniting flames in my head   sensing an onslaught of a death scene   about to be deja vu … = I sense you coming to me   to be dispensable at your need I'm in a victorious mode the moment is so precious, my dear… elcee so precious   ------------- feb 06 202...

don’t tell me listen on youtube or here   don’t tell me that you’re here just drop by & let me drop where I am   don’t let me know how you prayed   at the walls of my ruins   don’t let me understand your vendetta   drop the peace pin from your heart     & kill me with tenderness Where I lay. don’t let me know     how my world will crumble down   just raise a last toast before I go tonight   because you’ve won. don’t want to hear the sound of me die     don’t want you to repeat   the promises you never kept, I’ve memorized them,   written on the crumbled paper walls of my skin   don’t twist my death so slow   that time expires before me,   before the dying sun comes up,    before my organic coffin reaches a grave... I want to crash my final bed, a broken man    before you dance on my aborted memory   just for you to watch me cave in tonight  ...

why? listen on youtube or here   why do i I touch the sky poke the clouds But can’t feel the spirit of life around Where are the powers to help me? Where are they? = I plowed into the earth’s crust. But all I feel is the dead Where is life that springs from it? = I have a photograph and a backup in my mind yet still vague, not close enough = You are everywhere to be felt, and nowhere to be seen in my cause, a true chameleon, you are = I walked the destination-free roads anticipating an ambush from you I chilled with my aimless moments to kill the time I possessed your games up to the third base Where did I divert? Where did I go wrong? = I adjusted the heavens redirected the clouds to 45 degrees to my left & the winds to 12 knots rubbed earth’s belly massaging the dead citizens of my past = reintroduced myself to a photograph that can't remember me rebooted an out-of-sync backup in my mind Where did my strategy implode? = I, In the penthouse, hating you from above like jealous...

stone cold maria listen on youtube or here sweet maria, let me tell you about my thoughts on last night & why you caught me gazing into the void I lay here stone cold, numb.....   on a makeshift sick bed, in a straight jacket, naked in my skin, my most suitable attire,       & you straddling my chest, questioning my wasted years without you,  = a mirror reflecting me from the ceiling,   counting my eyelids shutter for every day missed, from the tightening grip  of your mouth, having on my lips,   never to entirely kill me or to let me live in peace.   = it's not dying that I fear,   it's seeing the expression on your face when I take my last breath   as I lay here stone cold, = waiting for you, waiting for you, my love to know that   to be assertive is to be more merciful,   like the day you drove your beautiful self to me   testing my fortitude that's now succumbing at your grip. = I had faith in y...

addicted bum listen on youtube or here crucify my stance as a prophet of fools watch me preserve it, and I forgive you, too I get choked up   when I let myself go too far, but I don’t run. feelings feed awareness,  whatever it is,   cause it's all about giving I disengage from everything but you so show me big guns and bigger consequences   or play that symphony or a rerun, preach me through a bullhorn a huge gap I've missed in time Feed me your execution wishes, stuff me a trophy carcass on your mantle. I'm an addicted bum. = So unlock your doors. I'm coming over tonight as I raid you flowing with this beat & smoke I realize it gives me a sense of essence to some degree   I’m the only one drowning in me watch me deplete my oxygen supply. = watch me stick to you like crazy glue in a ceremony captivated enjoy the moments while you crucify me     I don’t run   I’m into you so listen to me   so much becomes the truth at the end dying w...

Blindfolded listen on youtube or here I haven’t seen anything since blindfolded by your gaze Just the new land you imagined Pastures of green alphabets to graze Mirrored rivers to reflect with = The golden disc in the sky Beating down Mildly massaging my thoughts draining them out of me, I’m Restrained from leaving them In my head. = Cream of the crop you harvest recyclable filtered thoughts are for me Loving you was my fault Hating myself was yours = I searched in you for what’s missing I have come to believe You never possessed it It was all an illusion All I wanted was your heart To see what’s it like beyond the tunnel of mortality ------ lyrics & vocals by azdi404 Music credit : Licensor's Username: https://pixabay.com/users/oystudio-24430395/ Licensee: u_khn7q8qm9g Audio File Title: At the Edge of the Earth Audio File URL: https://pixabay.com/music/world-at-the-edge-of-the-earth-133041/ Audio File ID: 133041

dire solver listen on youtube or here love maker    dire solver    can I shake her          my brown eyes raider    a feeble tenor         tune soother    an eternal quiver          when she’s closer     I feel the seizure                      a permanent collar    questions simmer                about a rumor    I’m asking why?           I’m asking why?    Demanding an answer                caution & deliver    a delicate torture                 causing faith to splinter    a self-reminder...

I loved you there listen on youtube or here I loved you there,   when dreams and reality agreed to be bonded & enslaved   Dual empires of pride crumble down mutually for your fill = Back through the timeline navigating suicidal tendencies it killed the will and emptied the soul unplugged survival shows the way to bury me there with the fallen lost villain soldiers that never made it, insanity reading a eulogy = I'm in debt for what I've accepted price of flavors lost between eyebrows and the tip of your nose = too much heaven to be seen   crimes can be forgiven, but not forgotten, it's not longevity that measures   but the worth you make it   at the end of this life, I chose such a short path & I loved you there. = lyrics & vocals: azdi404 music credit v2: Don't Die On Me by  @Myuu   🇺🇸

Journey listen on youtube or here cruising the Pacific Ocean on the sunset’s blue side, my spirits paving a silver wake towards the ski’s end, to the high counsel... an exclusive flight with control damage, seeking the queens’ meadows, that rumored high-hope mystery... it's a head trip to Dove Coast Bay, strong and silent, filled with hysteria, a magic sunbird protecting an anti-freeze doll, a wizard of hearts with pistols & roses, guarded by dead soldiers a distance away, I scale the walls of the “Bay of Pirates” castle. A particular status brat, cold on a throne, highly handed maids that drain you, crowned in vapor & scarlet smoke, holier than thou... surrounded with regal snow, taste of honeydew, I replenished an amphora.   fleeing in the south winds in my streamer on the ocean crest you a phoenix in the air above, take a dashing drive, landing on soft pillows, Meet a demon lover on a purple bed between posts of flying dragons on a deck stuffed with pink clouds and Mapl...

favorite liar listen on youtube or here Because I misread your gaze when you said hello I searched for lost diamonds in your lies I've discovered the fire you set up and the plan dumping my pools of innocence in your rivers of deceit between what you said and what you meant, I'm troubled to call you a friend, Yet I was trapped in your childish games delusional between your body parts & fool's paradise leisuring under cool cotton candy clouds playing in melon-flavored jelly mud other times it's a dilemma to call you a friend,   I adored you so much I couldn't turn around and walk away I had to stare into a homicide or die by suicide walking away, you decide, does it feel like I'm lying? = wrapped in woven sheets of make-believe I was tempted, I was too innocent to ask, too guilty to steal, too weak to run, too numb to argue, Words objected coming out crooked.I wanted you to morph out of my fantasy How do you feel about that? Do you think I'm lying? = I h...

by an oasis listen on youtube or here underneath a shade, let me hurt alone to air my grievance to the wise man to give away a slice of my troubled peace,   but not the actual pain, because I can't find it in me it's coming from your direction so the wise man advised that i need to keep myself away from me   I never comprehended his words about my suicidal dreams, undecided about a way to decipher a vision of me   under the shade of a palm tree a visioned mirage hiding in the next oasis that I could never reach alludes me just like you. I think I’m numb   taking strokes from the sun alone to ponder this trip now, the jitters of hope fade just like the wise man holding my breath for your return   to tell you I want to trip on the fault line to end it here a pure, untampered message   underneath the shade   by an oasis waiting for you by an oasis.        lyrics & vocals by azdi404 music credit: LONELY  by A.P Beatz Sad ...

I walked in listen on youtube or here People fall in love, But I walked in I was waiting; I knew it was you When I saw what you could do. = ransoming the night captive revealing the moon's beauty giving it a chance to cater the lonely and broken. Some light on the road to redemption = I want to cuddle the fog off your breath in the palms of my hand on a cold December morning Plaster it against the glass and write my name = I saw what you gave me. An empty page to list my needs So I did the unthinkable I just drew your heart And it faded away into the page To try again. = I witnessed you in my frenzy Touching empty spots. ironically, you were away not thinking of me People fall in love, I walked in, I just wanted to finish the trip And fade into you. = lyrics & vocals: azdi404 music credit: Awakening' by @Gohma168  🇩🇪

spring room listen on youtube or here I caress my fragile head a womb of emotions for you a cave carved by enslaved fingers to make room for your ego painted walls with the color crimson from torn fingers ... = Windows flooded by light purging its sorrows on departure. You, retaking everything again = you come to me fiction   you come to me    a strange concept   you come as a white page   like a punctual spring with or without warning. = feeling another wave of labor new rumors are born   I script them into condolences   send them as gift cards   to all your hollowed-out victims, but I'm still here, grieving the gone nursing the feeble preparing condolences for my replacement. Waiting my turn in the spring room... = lyrics & vocals: azdi404 music credit: Emotional Sad Guitar Music   No Copyright   For Videos

North Star listen on youtube or here The burdens of my past on the train of time passes me by ahead waiting at the final moment spot Where I’m likely to greet you Heavy fog on my shoulders Pushes redemption to the edges of my conciousness into pits of lies.   Burden tells me I’m out of line. = Free falling with the setting sun Engraving its memoirs In a foreign land I find tattooed trees of strange faces asking to take them with me = I’m looking at the cold-colored whiskey moon reflecting the color of your eyes a vagabond on the road seeking My North Star = I can still manage a thought observing a pregnant tree Wishing to be reincarnated a rose to be plucked and smelled To get into a beloved head to Hear thoughts to Touch their senses to each their own, seeking their North star =   I tattooed a farewell note on a Graffiti wall   posting past sacrifices signing my name I join a nocturnal club waking up before sundown Before you exhale from somewhere Taking me to exile Onc...

driven beyond listen on youtube or here I’m trying to be, so let me see what you offered it was unwanted but let me dig & plow in a bottom-free dreamland so I dived to explore you in a deep ocean of green the grassy green you slept on the scene was beholding & I was driven beyond = from private playgrounds to public dominions I let you play me controlling yourself, as you say I read the fear in your beautiful eyes, the fear of losing your will to the cause of your deception and it wasn’t what you wanted, you were almost driven beyond I felt true emotions underneath the fake touches what you thought was an illusion was seven colored pulses seeping from your fingertips doubt reached you a tad late I almost met your feelings face to face so everything's the same as you left it, when you were almost driven beyond = occasionally, dials of life spin, scrambling channels between your face, your moods and the edge of sanity you fear so much setting my days into cold chapters and a...

withered listen on youtube or here   I heard a voice somewhat pale   felt gray guilty fingerprints wrapped up in a scarf you were at the altar with tense wary eyes sacrificing the mood of my blues making it right for you. your life adopted superstitious dreams & tales   memories engulfed in a bouquet of frowns   gravity is by the bedpost, distracting the drama   comforting you that it's alright.   I strolled a harsh path in your head, and the doubts diminished walking you home from the rain that night. yet, in the morning you stood on the corner, waiting   standing still for the messenger of the dream machine hoping answers will lay somewhere between whirling leaves   in the passings of the soft currents of drifting winds.   from the watch towers of your past whispers in your head morphed into a sniper breath locked me in the crosshairs pulling the trigger I didn’t think you were such a killer taking me out after my introduction to you, ...

youth lyrics listen on youtube or here I was a little late and the guest list was signed off, teen spirit carried you away into a state of numbness    inhaling poisoned youth lyrics pumped out from the radio you were drowning in roulette kisses, bumping you onto Lovers Lane, all forms of love come with a guilty price. The stickiness stained your reputation. What mommy and daddy gave wasn’t enough; thinking love was a bundle gift box set for a birthday or graduation? despite your best efforts, the smartest of your class, Some things must be tattooed,   molded by your hands to call your own, a period in life that fades but never dies. I just want to fade into one of them.   did anyone hear the voices   ushering gently out of your mouth   vexing you more pain the second you crash the pillows, desperate to sleep, only waking up to reality? Is it worth the chase? Warm bodies departing before dawn, your soul feeling cold & scathed those songs hypnotize your ...

escape listen on youtube or here chase & touch a dream just lose an appeal, mesmerized by the forbidden fruit's flavor, obsessive temptation by a slithering friend, a little bit of satisfaction, the burn of enough the morning after, tenderness became a cliche. can you run away, rest tonight, come tomorrow? let's lick the wounds together, the bitter, the truer healing the deeper cuts needs more of me for the long haul. got to have faith  to take night trips, turn off the lights,   lay down, close your eyes uncover that emotion let it stream over me in even flow segments pacing my pulse some devotion   disgruntled feelings   what you can't have   will be alive somewhere else with a soulful crush on flesh   get high for a bit   the reality behind the hurt, carry your way slowly, where are you going tomorrow? come with who you know, escape with me in these pages = lyrics & voice by azdi404 Music credit : Licensor's Username: https://pixabay.com/us...

Juice v1 listen on youtube or here I rushed the river of belief   Scooped a palm full   Washed my mouth   to call her name   On the outside I shared my skin with some sun stretching blank canvas sheets like Picasso .... to drag her imaginary fingers on it drawing with liquified pain, landscapes from heaven leaving me to cure alone under the 3 p.m. Sun. On the inside I was hiding in a nameless shack   I named it melancholy gray   an omen of what's to come, hoping for better days if she came to me,   Juice from her lips is all I needed   For a rush of blood to the vines,   nourishing purpose to my infant lyrics.   Juice stagnated in her head   must be stirred, not shaken   sinking her dagger teeth in me   for the perfect dose. let it flow; let me feel it, coming back again. It's the charged current stinging the flesh. That lays us down, focused drunk & oblivious to the outside. With all I have left, I rise   I rush...

come unhinged listen on youtube or here Come unhinged Come barbaric Come in that all-night mode come with malice intentions I've dedicated me to you Come with true colored seething teeth to rip the curse of youth that never lets you settle down think of me, swiping right I'm your call on demand calls come to me in vibes, Rattles & hums, Did you pray for me? Meditate your needs overlooking my shortcomings? Inspire my will that I'm all I can be?... = I don't blame you, I took you too close to the flame, the curse of youth it induced you to divulge hate, but not to me... you see, you put a mask over my face painted my old body an effigy still deep in you, I wasn't what you wanted you knew you were lying to yourself but it was all fine with me as I was the other guy with a mask somewhere in your life. = paint a smile on your face, as you did me it's a new day, grab your keys, walk out the door. meet the world leave me here a stain on your bed sheets I'll se...

CRAZY & DEAD   listen on youtube or here   crazy about you, that’s the rumors eager to devour you a glooming light in the susceptible side of my head your loving of the other man is a jab in my face, it broke the walls of my devotion to generate hatred I Have one for myself to share with you. Loving & hating you is in abundance a new pledge, an ominous birthdate poisoned spells are side effects you cause exposing skeletons in me there might be time left love’s a seed plant one in me thoughts flow at half pace in the morning blood flows down to a crawl when you pass by I had a temporary suspicion Confirming it's an infection and not a phase everything resumes to placidity when you turn & fade away 150 shutting doors on every morning silence overruled the sound coming from my trapped repenting sins my notions reverted to dormant but the fragrance from you lingers on a naked singularity filling my 404 shadows with that "what if-i had you" scenarios as you come a...

White Page listen on youtube or here and I remembered you last night from the skybox in the northeastern crater of my mind in a battle between two thoughts on a white canvas page as opposing pens annihilated each other racing to the top title position to relay from me a message to you as the blue and black ink bled over from the corner of the page ramping up indifference, profanity, endearment & sentiments laced paragraphs to unleash.   = as I lay in bed, disappointed by my warring thoughts with the spilled ink dripping onto the innocent letters to flooding damage, swept off the edge of my thoughts into the abyss of nothing losing their meanings to flee or choose sides I extended a peace branch that never flourishes with you in the middle = at the cease-fire my conscience steps down for my emotions to take over such a poor negotiator easily bribed by wishes and dreams = as I stood watching, my intentions derailed presenting what's against my wishes a confidential letter of lov...

the end listen on youtube or here let the dark faces fall down as I have    under the traffics merciless feet    to taste the dirt of life light a candle for the blind like me    in a squatters basement where I stay guarding captivated spirits in   the solitude of my mind. = summer stenches from the streets above    evaporates into memories talking to me    where I reminisce, about the passage leading down here blocked by staled love letters, broken songs    cold heart-ed bodies rejected me over the years    for a chat that I can't escape,    until I release my last breath    telling you what love can do.    = it's a constant fight to release a plan words and lies drift away portraits brought me closure   in a daily dying place, reminding me that I will too.    = cracking earth beneath,    carving a grave for me,    anticipating my maker, ...