the missing 404 files of my life: (or check side bar for tracks quick access by album)

I was a Boy

 i was a boy listen on youtube or here I exiled myself from the outside into the void  Not to run away but to find myself  I thought & believed what I observed to be the difference there had been signs of crumblings & decay = I need to rebuild myself  To know me before I introduce myself to others In this strange atmosphere I realized that  I've discovered an ancient pulse  it’s found in every reciprocation  with born whispers from breathing souls  = reaching into every mind through grievances laid on walls    tagging through skin for best results via gentle touch and through these we find the divine that lifts us up And being alone I had only one place to search ,  further inward, down in the sub basement of my core  i needed a reflection of me to see me in the third person Am I searching for the divinity of god or the divinity from within?  it started when I was a boy and she was nothing in the void I was a boy a...
Post a Comment

Abuse

 abuse  
listen on youtube or here

abuse  

Kiss my wounds & I'll digest your lies

delete all that's been done & let's start over one more time  

Grease the next promise under the sun  

Let's redo the nursery rhymes of Shoots and Ladders    

Color the eyelids for disguise  

change the name & sip from tears  

With a new set of friends to use

You have what it takes to abuse 

restrain me from the soft, feminine violence  

I’ve abandoned my soul when it failed you  

just the basic fact  

Follow me to where it hurts  

over here with bad company 

In a corner, wishing you to share my disposition

I'm at fault for not telling you

What would I do if pleasure were in my hand

But for now, your abuse is chewing chances away

I’ve been where you wanted  

Done what you’ve asked

quenched from your dreams  

I’ve touched your blues  

I've observed you on the horizon above

But that cloud isn't blessing my days 

The miscarriage of my birth from the womb of your tales

My buried sadness thrown haphazardly

How much abuse can I handle?

separated from your atmosphere  

There’s a new generation that breeds for fear  

Wearing gloves to touch you

cautious of your infectious loving  

And just like yesterday, I’ll spend tomorrow in reserve  

And some other days are up for grabs  

You see, I’m easing myself into having you in anyway

But you're surrounded & labeled all so clearly by your fingerprints

And I have a lot to mourn on my own

and plenty of wounds to attend to

cultivated from your abuse. 

=======

lyrics & vocals by azdi404

music credit: My Guitar by prod by pacatunes


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Black

  black listen on youtube or here   Retreading dispensed words roamed behind thick notions from you   accumulates into dark clouds hitting me like dark guilty rain...  = Thirsted grounds embrace it  Waiting for my return to quench exhaustion Then I blame the echoes that are scraping me, hanging me, suspended by my secrets, Like your smooth innuendos that end the age of innocence So complicated yet so clear = taste the skin on my tongue I hate to feel that I'm so behind   sorting personalized shadows you left deep behind in me  With my weakness stretched thin  to judge which of you has hurt me = Nothing but the naked trees of winter suffering from insomnia like me The blanket of the morning light overextended its welcome  The tick-tock of the clock, out of sync in the blank, just like me = Here I am, dicing your name into letters   dissecting your photograph into pixels   wondering why ...
Read & Listen more »

Welcome to Earth Laly

W elcome to Earth Laly listen on youtube or here   Hello Welcome to earth we're from dust you're one of us.... you're just far more perfected anonymous animals we are with deceptive intentions until we depose the false faces, we're more comfortable being strangers guising egocentric beliefs ravaging each other in Gramercy park by the pool you're just more innocently devious. seduction & snacks in the blood house distracts the honey girls, spin a mouthful of poetic air a pass to a land of imaginations for those escaping zoo nations blow the ashes in my face where you become a rumor. on a hypnotic journey lets trick the band of thieves postpone the joy ride into the wildland maze for later days lets shop artifacts of the dead let's walk the blvd with the stiff & beautiful you've become evanescence migrating into the minds of the clouds for the thirsty & bothered seeking hedonic adaptations like me for an example i lost my orie...
Read & Listen more »

By the Oak Tree

  By the oak tree v2 listen on youtube or here    by the oak tree   v1 listen on youtube or here Let's go back to where I stood Back to where I remember by the oak tree out in the countryside    by the outskirts of my deserted desires Let me revisit my thoughts and feelings I might have been mistaken about what you might have wanted from the get-go Timing might be at fault, not striving for overtime taboo vows are slowing it down So let me go back anyway Let me warn amateurs stepping into our place sketching names on tender oak tree trunks Be careful what you wish for = Let's go back, hover over my then peaceful past How you reverse acceleratd the presence to show me Why the paused future will never awaken the same = Though you have made up your mind about me for rushing into your perfectly painted stroked walls There's nothing I can do to renovate the scratches & colors now Nothing but stare and make the best of it = Now let me...
Read & Listen more »

Blunders

  blunders v2 listen on youtube or here      blunders v1 listen on youtube or here Love & complexity lies ahead but Look both ways between two dawns before crossing the days options collided a distance away The no-way-out ramp around the curve, 2 miles down the road. and hope is road blocked by 14 sealed love letters holding the passwords, So before I retrieve them Get away if you can before I consume you as a display in the art of passion For I, a lucky cave dweller in you I'm in your sphere, I hunt hallucinations  = Wait at the pit stop for a bullet train over there by river road It's carrying the lucky pendant , it's your lucky charm It's a first-class package hand-delivered to you signature across a dead heart required  = Don't blame me for the summer burns Winter chills bring us together again Nobody knows & nobody has to know how we cuddle Nobody has to know about the black phone book With the elite numbers & ...
Read & Listen more »

Nightfall

Nightfall v2 listen on youtube or here   Nightfall v1 listen on youtube or here It’s nightfall & I’m lost in the bewildered roads that never wanted to reach her. Lost in the empty hills from attrition with the night owls scanning the darkness Feeling the pulse of dawn. = The sky is still in limbo About the memory of silence whispering About my sorrows that never filled a book words constantly spilling over the sides == The hunger of my poems on a plate My healing notions in a wooden cup. I’m dehydrating, and death is carrying his photo albums and coming over with a specialty of his favorite mix, To take me to his kingdom of fear, shamed & naked, To be buried an orphan in god's acre == It’s nightfall & I’m lost in the bewildered roads that never wanted to reach her. because she’s so unforgiving == An eulogy sung by the moaning roses The humming of prayers standing there with surviving dreams that could perish If the gray seasons arrived a little late. an...
Read & Listen more »

Coronation House

  Coronation House v2 listen on youtube or here  coronation house v1 listen on youtube or here veins in me itching to be laid down to purge the load of what it wants to draw a reminder at your feet of your victory a red carpet for the royal walk to the coronation house For the hijacked inauguration I've been there on the stiff side, baby Someday look behind at your treason, reach out to return something for the exiled, Love dies agonizingly slowly, so take your time... You still have about a decade's time to recoup your senses & in return, I'll give you treaties of peace, a certified recognition of my failure I've been there on the stiff side, baby = go home tonight to the coronation house; the house you deceived from me where I was about to be me king me, simple me But the stars didn't align because of a malice smile...   clandestine eclipse from your eyes ... The fallacies of your tricks...   deceived the songbird's intro overtures ... de...
Read & Listen more »

Sober Fear

  Sober Fear listen on youtube or here a fresh gaze in disguise And I can't decipher the meaning a tender stroll around my room in the spur of the moment Blossoming warm infantile breaths refreshes the air mending my soul Contemplating the coming changes a pass devil sponsored Echo into a hole, and you belong to me under the southern star In the sweat of July exhausting old games And your mother's preaching is slowly fading away filtered from this mess smiling consent all over after losing authority What a bittersweet change = ice around my fingers thaws, dripping slowly over your paper gates tearing it away piece by piece to cherish this first time So contain yourself, let loose more than I can take and bow down to what's coming Feel the rhythm Everybody has a ghost Don’t feel guilty Keep the excess untold if you like What a bittersweet change under sober fear Feel the change under sober fear cherish the moment...
Read & Listen more »