azdi404

Nightfall listen on youtube or here It’s nightfall & I’m lost in the bewildered roads that never wanted to reach her. Lost in the empty hills from attrition with the night owls scanning the darkness Feeling the pulse of dawn. The sky is still in limbo About the memory of silence whispering About my sorrow that never filled a book words constantly spilling over the sides == The hunger of my poems on a plate My healing notions in a wooden cup. I’m dehydrating, and death is carrying his photo albums and coming over with a cup of his favorite mix, To take me to his kingdom of fear shamed & naked, To be buried an orphan in an unknown plot. == An eulogy sung by the moaning roses The humming of prayers standing there with surviving dreams that could perish If the gray seasons arrive a little late. == But the roads never wanted to reach her she’s so unforgiving so death is coming over early And I’m alone and too far from home. I’m hugging the darkness Feeling the pulse of dawn crawlin...

An Ode to Beauty listen on youtube or here This is an ode to beauty in my 55 years roaming this earth I've known women every so often,   either in real life or through imagination but never committed forever to anyone. because I never expressed none asked so I never did. You see, My dedication was to the captivating ones. seldom one would come along and just uproot my world violently, causing me to write this, to purge to speak this as a last will & testament some kind of therapy or confession. = Beauty ranges in all different calibers   and so my dedication to them.   I could never find that such a word exists for one I'm not a poet, but I express myself as a man   passing through the decades and the world with thoughts not to attract or bargain with women,   because their beauty never lasts,   but my words do. Do you think women would understand & forgive me?   = name them, and I knew them, Mona Lisa, Venus, the girl with a pearl earring; Ol...

beautiful drowning listen on youtube or here I'm condemned & the weight of the burden calls for her, the savior, the holy to undo this filthy soul of mine my evil was sick to the bones buried in its own perdition needing a cleansing, needing a beautiful drowning in the corner of her living room   pictures of pictures nailed on the walls   but there to remind me of taboos for the trip to the bottom my fascination is overdue absorbing lullabies in the form of baby breaths & pacified by black kabbala hymns hypnotized under the gaze of dreamy eyes resistance gauges read empty, I drowned, relinquishing past faults. at the bottom, I was held as a begotten soul overhauling a new me I entered the temple, immersed in her beauty sins are forgiven peacefully in this beautiful drowning.   something's howling and shouting from the walls, weakened by their own conviction a wish for one more try to live one more moment   at the edge of an end of just one more drowning she'...

apologies to laly v1 listen on youtube or here refined 2nd version listen on youtube or here   I write what I feel, what stirs me & I envy my words   observing them lying neatly on coffin rows in a graveyard of blank lines without feelings   a useless port if not destined to you = I wish I was ink, creating letters guiding the words to infiltrate you   track where they go   how they touch & make you feel correct them according to your mood swings = these words make you smile, content they get to touch you before I do   I envy them, and it should've been me   I want to explore & live your mind to see how your imagination will play with me. = I possess random thoughts tailoring my favorite memory  with you Into a satin dress …. gifting it on an anniversary …   would you still recognize me? = What if I'm senile? stitching myself with colors matching my genre of despair sprinkled with a touch of drama,  chill out for a showtime...

disposition  listen on youtube or here Know my disposition it's a language lost like dead tongues   and my wasted blood is on your lips  desperate to feel serenity   knowing I am a man lost in your solitude  eager to greet you with thirst & desires,  welcoming your quenches & commodities  stuck between the polar opposites of infinite ends  it's more than what I can take of the female light the notion of evicting hollow spaces with a laughter announcing you’re back is welcoming a glory-era the warmth from within you   is best without a rendezvous without any shame to help me feel more than this imagination is lighter than gravity it never touches the grounds  resuscitation always backfires dreams will always stay there with you  a messenger emerges from the darkness  holding me with vague intentions navigating the nocturnal side sneaking the borders of make-believe plant a moist seed of hope in your honor.  it star...

pretender listen on youtube or here bury the dead in the hungry grounds those who dared to run across your minefields poor hypocritical lives, claiming to be your friend, eager for the moment when today touches tomorrow but your promises vanishes just like our miserable ambitions you'll become yesterday's memories and tomorrow's hope all over again I'm a man with an empty today waiting for a new tomorrow I feel estranged starting from the bottom pretending since yesterday that I’m not missing you exploring cavities in my life somethings replaces others achievements are grounded destinations become a challenge, even faith lost interest in me pretending it was something without you and without you pretending is empty some said I was too rough sharing my head with loaded silence the presence of silence is waiting to fulfill its emptiness... and leaving is a constant problem you see, Every blood drip comes from a vein Every bird homes back to a nest Babies are detac...

broken  listen on youtube or here if so graciously, oh queen of mine may I squeeze the soul into rings to fall on the standing points I've longed to understand I was and still am in a dumbfounded mood   about the spotlight around me and never on Buzzed in anticipation to be what I'm not intended to.. but never to find my inner peace that rests on someone else's words. I don't want to be broken. if so, kindly, oh queen of mine chew me to shreds feed me into your veins to roam all about and to tell you this is what I have for you it might be useful somehow. expressing that I'm so deeply imprisoned by my dogma, I was tarnished by the odd years, that "unfaithful" became my cloak because you wanted me broken.   from me to inside of you   I change from state to state, believing your harshness is raw love, and a test of my resilience but I time-out from you  on the outskirts of your senses to heal,   not far, just in case I feel the addicting itches I'm almo...

 revolving  listen on youtube or here i working from the inside of dawn   on the naked spirit of you   going for a low ride to find my possessions   you ground yourself gracefully on me in the backroom   as a spiritual guide   asking is everything all right?   i explore the lightless corners in you i have chat with madness he might feel like me; and he surely does = I gave you control of my head   cause all i needed was my greedy animal instincts so close your eyes feel the live gluttony in your arms don’t talk to me about heaven   I was suspended in the middle of it   feasting between your arms = i can't get enough of you cause i'm the one being consumed = I recalled sanity & justice to see what I’m going through   when I burn my lips touching you   rendering my senses crippled   a pure violation of my time you always show reasons to need you   on a journey to the opium side of pleasures   to the poiso...

 deranged moments  listen on youtube or here in these deranged moments it's not time to be friends, we need to talk about it & silence is not the way I Crave your mind that browsed cataloged pages of my life witnessing me living & dying many tales I can afford to suffer with you... Let me seize the moment to begin it's time you come of age. So come undone I knew there was something wrong, should've told me you wanted someone to blame but you left me far behind now I have to watch you suffer alone. I felt the mutiny in my veins so receive me before I rupture these plans   like the birth of ink on paper erupting the pen's tip to breathe and call me before you exhale, when no one's around at your super hour encrypt the distance between us lay down resistance for me I wish you had never kept me waiting by the backyard bay with inert gangster lullabies, pondering back as I remembered the graveyard shift and all its nuances stagnant questions & dull answers, ...

 dying sequence  listen on youtube or here in this dying sequence, it's time I start writing the end This is becoming the end feelings for you are dying All the things I touch dissolve and your face is fading slowly How many times I’ve told you to come and save this thinning = One more night isn’t saving it Two more kisses aren’t enough Three more words aren’t stopping the hemorrhagic in my heart, Baby love there’s just too much pretending going on, for it to work like it is supposed to. = We’ve deceived the silver lining enough. We don’t shine in those moments like we used to Do you have something else in mind? = Call it by name or shall I say call them by name where are all those mighty men that dreamt about you? that promised you & that you promised yourself? Where are all your dreams going now? trading what you have for what you want? = While I have everything you need as sacraments expire. This is becoming the end in this strange dying sequence. = This is becoming th...

 Something Ordinary  listen on youtube or here So tell me, where am I supposed to begin from elcee? Should I start from when I first saw you? When you dismissed me in the beginning   or Shrugged me off at the end? Or is it possible to when I first hugged you in my debut dream? Or dared to kiss your lips the night after? Where should I start from? Let’s just start with something ordinary = I've been random, but moments haven't been the same since you've been around I don't count by seconds or days as I do now, counting the times I see you Six about to turn eight? I've mentioned what I believed in, this a hint to indulge me some of what you've got to be something ordinary = You know gravity is humbling But it only worked on me I gravitated to listening to the snap & strain of the careless whisper pushing to know you breaking barriers against my wishes so I can say I love your smile to feel right for that moment Just something ordinary   = record the moments ...

validate v1 listen on youtube or here This life is for me  My innocence is a blank page My life was a few mundane lines before I met you Your presence tells it all dictating the pace  scratching a signature  Validating my worth  = Divine Pretending  Untouchable you are  All and nothing you are,  everything in my privacy nothing outside that realm  to feel the moment = Elevate me to level high  Just to hear me crash  my structural being  It's all right  I'm so tired of saving myself Emotion free without you It's hard to know  Something was wrong  Until I crash into you  = in a 5 second nap  I caught you in a dream  I felt the pressure of your teeth  Ripping my lips  As I groove to the sound of you  exerting the fear of failure sinking to the game you played  = I bled the distance  of your lips from edge to edge It's a scarred, irreversible damage  I feel so symbolic  A...

sober fear  listen on youtube or here a fresh gaze   in disguise   no one knows   a tender stroll   in the spur   blossoming warm   infantile breathes   mending my soul   after losing authority   consent all over   I’m sure you don’t mind   a change, a pass   devil sponsored   echos into a hole   and you belong to me   southern star   sweat of July   old games   and your mothers preaching   slowly fading away   filtered from this mess   bittersweet change   while the ice   around my fingers thaw   dripping slowly over your   paper gates tearing it away   piece by piece   to feel like the first time   contain yourself   get loose more than I can take   bow down   feel the rhythm   everybody has a ghost   don’t feel guilty   keep the excess untold   if you like   under sober fear   feel the change und...

  Oh Satan  listen on youtube or here    oh satan Come and remedy  the flaws of your plans To entrap her,   At least a prayer for the dying  Innocent parts of me.  = oh satan Come over and waste away with me  I’m not over-dramatizing  listen to her recite epic ballads  of fallen mercenaries,  false revelations & Invincible vibes, it doesn’t look good to me just gloom & haze....  = Can you feel her hovering over me  Whispering in my ears  “It feels good again.”  Can anything else be this good?  To be the chosen tortured one? I wasn’t careful in choosing my battles. = Oh Satan  What have you done to me?  Did you dare to conspire, i was your tool of choice, I thrusted into her all of me  I thought I was enough  Now I’m just another carcass left behind I can tell by the way I miss her. = Sanity is on a stroll, thinking things over,  Voices of the past crowded  behind t...

un-god like listen on youtube or here You are what I know    with rising heat from my palms    I intend to mend common complications   pray to keep you endlessly   a reason to dismantle you from the inside out   until you secede from this holy erotic war until your sways falter to the ground under me   = lay next to me, unforgiven     and witness  shoddily seeded notions in me bleed in fashionable hunger    = I've dwelled too long in shame to detect what god is for in your earthling materials    ungodlike morals    I found no reason for redemption without you = but in flashbacks around you   I adored my selfishness    in a feeble empire    wearing the crown of fools    guarded by an entourage of silhouette dancers the spells of mantras you hum What you do defies the law of god and you do it twice to rub it in Cleanliness is next to godliness, but without you, how...

wailing wall v1 listen on youtube or here   I was in Jerusalem some miles from a town where you vacationed I had to be at the wailing wall For a personal matter, a grievance God spoke to me there, demanding my devotion that I promised you God has vowed to me what most wished for but no mention of you God has warned eternity in hell for me But regretting not having you is harder God said he created us beautifully all I see is my ugliness, and sprinkled in you are my given senses God has miracles, but only if he believes Only if he's fair, a balance of your fulfilling beauty, my old age, my saturated ugliness, a symmetry of art God said I'm free, but I'm singled out, incomplete I'm the weakened one, created for your leisure Debating God the subject of you I ruptured defending you for me, Our wishes and demands colliding I'm not sacrificing anything I'm walking away from a stalemate Taking my chances with you We'll talk about how to save me A rescue or rebirth...

Sacred Temple listen on youtube or here   Be the sacred temple accepting worshipers offers Listen to our prayers, wishes & whims of devotion, & love for who you are = our odyssey gravitated towards you an endless quest As a mirage to a Mecca in a deserted valley to a shrine on a mountaintop Poor pilgrims, we are lost balancing the mind & soul = The aroma of desires hunting for the Sound of Silence That emits from your smile Stopping short Between the Pillars Of your gates outside = Never reaching us but Stabbing us taunting us with the sweetest unique thought ever the price we pay for redemption submerging In rivers of belief = Barriers of time Dressed incognito Bending the prism of life, Guarding your sanctuary from these rumors, that you don’t deserve to be, an ideology covered by stone walls of tailored servitude, = the existence of a myth no one gets close to you No path to you No river reaches you No vibe touches you certainly, No prayer reveals you =...

 the Story of Amen Listen on Youtube or here   Dead inside here for 20-something years For being an unbeliever Waiting for a call Struggling for direction Searching my strange aliases Digging into my ancient feelings God is older But god is not helping me I’m all alone down here Amen On the ledge of my pillow Suicidal thoughts About Being Old Past my prime Breaking a chain About being bold daring to find you My savior Amen Chained by my own promises Falling from my grace Losing my crown of thorns Floating to the top Amongst the living To a nameless land Where you live Up above where god exists As they say Because he doesn’t hear me here Maybe up there? I believe Amen I get closer to the center of gravity I hear a laughter I see a smile I feel loneliness I see the light blending eyes assimilates into my world Leading me I’m listening Is it an illusion? But why care? I answer Amen I heard you Calling underneath your breath Shadows have...