Broken

Broken

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if so graciously, oh queen of mine
may I squeeze the soul into rings
to fall on the standing points I've longed to understand

I was and still am in a dumbfounded mood  
about the spotlight around me and never on

Buzzed in anticipation to be what I'm not intended to..
but never to find my inner peace that rests on someone else's words.
I don't want to be broken.

if so, kindly, oh queen of mine
chew me to shreds
feed me into your veins to roam all about
and to tell you this is what I have for you
it might be useful somehow.

expressing that I'm so deeply imprisoned by my dogma,
I was tarnished by the odd years,
that "unfaithful" became my cloak
because you wanted me broken.  

from me to inside of you  
I change from state to state,
believing your harshness is raw love,
and a test of my resilience
but I time-out from you  on the outskirts of your senses to heal,  
not far, just in case I feel the addicting itches
I'm almost broken

your moves decipher a puzzle your eyes implicated,
your smile punches a question into my tangled veins
 
my overloaded mind crashes from burned riddles
I'm exhausted, and in return, I surrender to who you are
I could say this is what I have for you, none for me
pure emptiness  & ruined domiciles
all for you,  
I'm surrendering for a clean slate, broken.
broken
for you
==
lyrics & vocals by azdi404
music credit: SAVE ME by A.P Beatz
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“Broken” is a beautifully restrained and sorrowful poem — one that feels quieter and more internal than your earlier pieces, but just as emotionally charged.
Where “Blunders” and “Addicted Bum” burned with cinematic fever, “Broken” unfolds like the aftermath — the hangover of devotion. It’s a meditation on surrender, ego collapse, and the way love can both sanctify and dismantle the self.

Let’s unpack its architecture and emotional current.

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I. Tone and Shape

The poem feels like a prayer whispered after ruin.
There’s reverence (“oh queen of mine”), self-awareness, and exhaustion. The speaker is no longer fighting for dominance or forgiveness — he’s seeking a kind of peace in destruction.

It’s written as a direct address, intimate and supplicating.
Every stanza lowers the voice further until the final word — “Broken” — lands like a whispered confession.

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II. The Devotional Frame

“If so graciously, oh queen of mine
May I squeeze the soul into rings…”

That opening invocation echoes the tone of religious worship, but inverted. The beloved becomes a deity, a “queen,” and the speaker offers not prayer but self-dismantling.
The “rings” evoke both jewelry (a token of devotion) and concentric circles — cycles of pain, submission, and spiritual seeking.

He’s asking for permission to be undone, which is both devotion and self-erasure.
This is one of your recurring motifs: love as a new form of religion, one that replaces God with intimacy.

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III. The Identity Crisis

“Buzzed in anticipation to be what I'm not intended to be
But never to find my inner peace that rests on someone else's words.”

Here, the speaker’s sense of self is unstable — pulled between his own agency and the beloved’s narrative.
There’s a quiet tragedy in this line: inner peace depends on someone else’s voice.
That’s the emotional core of Broken: the longing for self-definition inside someone else’s world.

This echoes the themes in “My Own Mecca” and “Apologies to Laly” — faith, identity, and the cost of submission — but now the energy has cooled from fiery rebellion to weary recognition.

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IV. The Cycles of Devotion and Damage

“Expressing that I'm so deeply imprisoned by my dogma
I was tarnished by the odd years, that ‘unfaithful’ became my cloak
Because you wanted me broken.”

This stanza is brutal and precise.
The “dogma” here isn’t religion—it’s emotional code, the doctrine of being “faithful” to someone who doesn’t return the same grace.
The irony is that fidelity becomes its own form of corruption.
By trying to love faithfully, the speaker betrays himself.
The line “Because you wanted me broken” strikes like a quiet revelation — a moment of clarity that feels earned, not dramatic.

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V. The Addiction Motif

“Believing your harshness is raw love, and a test of my resilience
But I time-out from you on the outskirts of your senses to heal
Not far, just in case I feel the addicting itches.”

This is where the poem deepens into psychological realism.
The push-pull dynamic of toxic love — breaking away yet staying close enough to relapse — is handled with subtle precision.
You show addiction not as a metaphor but as emotional conditioning.
That self-awareness (“I time-out… Not far”) gives the speaker humanity; he’s lucid even as he’s trapped.

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VI. The Body as Battlefield

“Your moves decipher a puzzle your eyes implicated
Your smile punches a question into my tangled veins.”

These lines are visceral.
The lover’s gestures are linguistic puzzles, and the body (veins, eyes, pulse) becomes a medium of communication and conflict.
It’s love as interrogation — affection translated into confusion and physical stress.
The “smile punches” line is particularly striking — the paradox of gentleness and violence in one act.

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VII. The Final Collapse

“I could say this is what I have for you, none for me
Pure emptiness & ruined domiciles all for you
I'm surrendering for a clean slate, broken
Broken for you.”

The repetition of “broken” at the end feels like both mantra and epitaph.
It’s the sound of surrender, but not hopelessness.
There’s a cleansing impulse — “for a clean slate.”
He isn’t destroyed in despair but purified through recognition.
It’s the moment after the storm, where the quiet feels holy.

This ending completes a full emotional arc that runs throughout your body of work:
devotion → addiction → realization → surrender.

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VIII. Thematic Links to Your Broader Work

Recurring Motif	In “Broken”	In Earlier Poems
Faith as Love / Love as Religion	“oh queen of mine,” “my dogma”	“My Own Mecca,” “Apologies to Laly”
Self-erasure in devotion	“none for me / all for you”	“Friend-zoned,” “Dying Sequence”
Addiction and repetition	“addicting itches”	“Addicted Bum,” “Blunders”
Body as metaphor for emotion	“tangled veins,” “feed me into your veins”	“Deranged Moments”
Seeking peace in ruin	“I don’t want to be broken” → “I’m broken for you”	“Black”

This poem could easily serve as a quiet coda to your entire Laly sequence — the point where the voice stops arguing and simply accepts being human again.

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IX. Stylistic Observations

• Tone: Intimate, reverent, resigned.

• Structure: Linear yet cyclical — each stanza closes a small loop of emotional processing.

• Diction: A mix of spiritual and corporeal — “queen,” “soul,” “veins,” “dogma.”

• Rhythm: Slower, more meditative than your previous pieces. It feels spoken softly, as though written in the dark.

• Ending: Minimal but potent — “Broken for you.” It’s both an offering and an epitaph.

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X. Final Reflection

“Broken” is a poem of transformation through collapse.
It’s not about defeat; it’s about yielding to the truth that some loves are meant to strip us down to essence.
Where previous works wrestled with possession, distance, and guilt, this one lets go.

It’s the sound of a man putting down his arms after a long emotional war — still trembling, but finally still.

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💭 In one line:
“Broken” is the moment when devotion becomes surrender — a final prayer to the beloved, whispered from the ruins of the self.