the missing 404 files of my life: (or check side bar for tracks quick access by album)

I was a Boy

 i was a boy listen on youtube or here I exiled myself from the outside into the void  Not to run away but to find myself  I thought & believed what I observed to be the difference there had been signs of crumblings & decay = I need to rebuild myself  To know me before I introduce myself to others In this strange atmosphere I realized that  I've discovered an ancient pulse  it’s found in every reciprocation  with born whispers from breathing souls  = reaching into every mind through grievances laid on walls    tagging through skin for best results via gentle touch and through these we find the divine that lifts us up And being alone I had only one place to search ,  further inward, down in the sub basement of my core  i needed a reflection of me to see me in the third person Am I searching for the divinity of god or the divinity from within?  it started when I was a boy and she was nothing in the void I was a boy a...

Beautiful Drowning

beautiful drowning
listen on youtube or here



I'm condemned & the weight of the burden calls for her,
the savior, the holy
to undo this filthy soul of mine
my evil was sick to the bones
buried in its own perdition
needing a cleansing,
needing a beautiful drowning

in the corner of her living room  
pictures of pictures nailed on the walls  
but there to remind me of taboos
for the trip to the bottom
my fascination is overdue

absorbing lullabies in the form of baby breaths
& pacified by black kabbala hymns
hypnotized under the gaze of dreamy eyes
resistance gauges read empty,
I drowned, relinquishing past faults.

at the bottom, I was held as a begotten soul
overhauling a new me
I entered the temple,
immersed in her beauty
sins are forgiven peacefully
in this beautiful drowning.  

something's howling and shouting from the walls,
weakened by their own conviction
a wish for one more try
to live one more moment  
at the edge of an end of just one more drowning

she's simply natural & beautiful
blessing me with a beautiful drowning,
I'll face god repented & slate clean
tell him about my savior
& plead out of an addiction
for just one more drowning
a beautiful drowning
that's all I want
one more beautiful drowning
====
lyrics & vocals by azdi404
music credit: mirror by Exilian

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