Blunders

 blunders v2

listen on youtube or here 

 

 blunders v1
listen on youtube or here

Love & complexity lies ahead but

Look both ways between two dawns before crossing the days

options collided a distance away

The no-way-out ramp around the curve, 2 miles down the road.

and hope is road blocked by 14 sealed love letters holding the passwords,

So before I retrieve them

Get away if you can before I consume you

as a display in the art of passion

For I, a lucky cave dweller in you

I'm in your sphere, I hunt hallucinations 

=

Wait at the pit stop for a bullet train over there by river road

It's carrying the lucky pendant, it's your lucky charm

It's a first-class package hand-delivered to you

signature across a dead heart required 

=

Don't blame me for the summer burns

Winter chills bring us together again

Nobody knows & nobody has to know how we cuddle

Nobody has to know about the black phone book

With the elite numbers

& neon lights mark a new avenue down your corridors

secrets of a prelude to fear

a diary too dear to be proud of, dangerous liaisons

It's best to hatch a plan under the lemon tree 

=  

I remember a hustle after the midnight bloom

That's when I learned to swim to color my words underwater

describing bad blood & true lies between paragraphs

And at halftime, I crawl into my space

=

I crawl into my space to ask the question,

What are you? What is a woman?

A dire epic, neurotic beauty,

The answer is always you, as is

a pure XX female attitude dipped in dark neon glow 

=

On a cloudy day, riding tamed clouds

shedding diamond tears at a funeral for my weakest link to you

That just passed away

He's dead & decked out in black sunglasses in a striped zoot suit 

The bright side of death

The last victim mourned

survived your crush

But not giving you up

But intervened by nine bullets

cut short, hard & fair, dedicated,

But still, an all-around reject.

=

I'm never better at making a point

We can have more rounds

Just wait for me

Let me cross over the line again

I've learn from my blunders

& the 7th time is a charm.

I've learn from my blunders

& the 7th time is a charm.

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Jan 19 2023

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lyrics & vocals: azdi404

music credit: Dark Mist by Gaxillic

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blunders v1 lyrics 

let me tell you about some blunders
love & complexity lies ahead but
look both ways between two dawns

options collide a distance away
the no-way-out ramp around the curve, 2 miles down the road.

and hope is road blocked by 14 sealed love letters
holding the passwords,

so before I retrieve them
get away if you can before I consume you
as a display in the art of passion
for I a lucky cave dweller in you
I'm in your sphere I hunt hallucinations
=
wait at the pit stop for a bullet train
over there by river road carrying the lucky pendant
it's your lucky charm
it's a first-class package hand-delivered to you
signature across a dead heart required
=
don't blame me for the summer burns
winter chills bring us together again
nobody knows &
nobody has to know how we cuddle

nobody has to know about
the black phone book with the elite numbers
& neon lights mark a new avenue down your corridors

secrets of a prelude to fear
a diary too dear to be proud of dangerous liaisons
hatch a plan under the lemon tree
=
I remember a hustle after the midnight bloom
that's when I learned to swim
color my words underwater
describing bad blood & true lies
between paragraphs
at halftime, I crawl into my space
=
I crawl into my space
To ask the question, what are you
what is a woman?
A dire epic, neurotic beauty,
the answer is always you as is
a pure female
attitude dipped in dark neon glow
=
on a cloudy day riding tamed clouds
shedding tears, shedding tears
shedding diamond tears at a funeral
of my weakest link to you
my weakest link to you, that just passed away
he's dead & decked out in black glasses
in a striped zoot suit

the bright side of death
the last victim mourned
survived your crush

but not giving you up
but intervened by 9 bullets
cut short, hard & fair,
dedicated,
but still, an all-around reject
=
I'm never better at making a point
We can have some more
just wait for me
let me cross over the line again
I learn from my blunders
& 7th time's a charm.

=
Jan 19, 2023
=
lyrics & vocals: azdi404
music credit: Funeralopolis - by beautiful death - Acoustic Instrumental [Electric Wizard Tribute]  @beautifuldeathmusic 

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“Blunders” is a darkly cinematic and emotionally complex piece—one that fuses romantic fatalism, urban surrealism, and psychological confession into a single, feverish stream of consciousness. It reads like an elegy written on the move: a love poem tangled in speed, secrecy, and the exhaustion of repetition.

If your earlier poems (“Creation,” “Apologies to Laly,” “My Own Mecca”) positioned the speaker as creator and confessor, “Blunders” places him as survivor—wiser, but not healed. This poem is both a reckoning and a relapse.

Let’s unfold it in layers.

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I. Title and Framing

The word “Blunders” immediately signals a tone of humility after hubris.
It admits error before the first line is even read—continuing the confessional trajectory from “Apologies to Laly.”

Yet what’s remarkable is that these blunders are not purely moral or romantic—they are existential and linguistic.
Even the opening line contains a tiny mistake (“ahea,d”), hinting that imperfection itself is now baked into the poet’s language. The poem embodies its own title: every slip becomes part of the art.

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II. The Poem as Motion Picture

From its first stanza, “Blunders” unfolds like a road film—restless, cinematic, drenched in metaphorical speed.

“Look both ways between two dawns before crossing the days”
“The no-way-out ramp around the curve, two miles down the road.”

The voice feels like a narrator speaking from inside a moving car, describing life and love as a perpetual detour.
There’s danger (“no-way-out ramp”), hesitation (“look both ways”), and inevitability—the crash has already been written into the route.

This visual style recalls film noir or neo-noir aesthetics: shadowed highways, blurred lights, emotional fugitives.
Love here is a chase scene, not a sanctuary.

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III. The Art of Passion as Self-Consumption

“Get away if you can before I consume you
As a display in the art of passion.”

This stanza captures the central paradox of the poem: the poet’s love is both creation and destruction.
The phrase “art of passion” transforms intimacy into performance, an aesthetic experiment that risks devouring the subject.
The speaker recognizes the danger but is addicted to it—the artist as predator, the lover as exhibitionist.

The self-awareness here is crucial: this isn’t a romantic plea, it’s a warning label.
He knows that loving him means becoming part of his creative process, which also means annihilation.

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IV. Urban Mysticism

Throughout the poem, urban imagery replaces religious or natural ones.
Where earlier works invoked divinity (“My Own Mecca”), “Blunders” uses neon, trains, phone books, and corridors of light.
It’s a love story staged in a modern city’s dreamscape—half memory, half hallucination.

“Wait at the pit stop for a bullet train…
Signature across a dead heart required.”

“Nobody has to know about the black phone book
With the elite numbers
& neon lights mark a new avenue down your corridors.”

These images of speed and anonymity—train stations, secret ledgers, electric corridors—suggest a love affair that exists underground, hidden from moral daylight.
There’s both allure and despair in that secrecy: it’s thrilling, but it also condemns the lovers to live in metaphor rather than in reality.

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V. The Poetic Self as Craftsman and Confessor

“I learned to swim to color my words underwater.”

This is one of the most potent lines in the poem. It fuses artistic creation with survival—the act of writing as both suffocation and self-rescue.
The underwater image evokes pressure, silence, and a struggle for breath—just like emotional repression or submerged desire.

This stanza—“Describing bad blood & true lies between paragraphs”—confirms that writing is his chosen battlefield.
His “blunders” are not only romantic missteps but poetic ones—the inevitable distortions of trying to express something that can’t fully be expressed.

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VI. The Question of “What is a Woman?”

“What are you? What is a woman?
A dire epic, neurotic beauty.”

This interrogation stands at the emotional core.
The poet isn’t asking out of ignorance but out of awe and futility.
Each attempt to define the beloved transforms her into a different archetype—myth, muse, body, idea—none of which fully contain her.

“A pure XX female attitude dipped in dark neon glow.”
A stunning line—part biology, part modern glamour.
The “XX” grounds her in real womanhood, while the “neon glow” makes her untouchable, artificial, iconized.
She is both human and sign—alive yet illuminated from without.

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VII. Death as Comic Ritual

“Shedding diamond tears at a funeral for my weakest link to you
That just passed away
He's dead & decked out in black sunglasses in a striped zoot suit.”

The mock funeral for the “weakest link” injects absurd humor into tragedy.
This surreal scene blends mourning with performance—the dead lover is dressed like a jazz-age ghost.
It’s the bright side of death, as he calls it: a flamboyant metaphor for letting go of one’s softer, more vulnerable self.

The zoot suit and sunglasses create an image of cool detachment, perhaps a defense mechanism—the speaker’s way of surviving heartbreak through style.

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VIII. Closure Through Repetition

“I've learn from my blunders
& the seventh time is a charm.”

The repetition of this refrain—grammatically flawed, musically steady—embodies the poem’s theme: repetition as both curse and learning.
The speaker hasn’t fully learned (hence “learn” instead of “learned”), but he’s aware enough to name his pattern.

The “seventh time” carries mythic weight: the Biblical number of completion, the end of a cycle, the chance at transcendence.
Yet, by repeating it, the poem suggests he might be doomed to make the same mistake again—because in his world, love and error are inseparable.

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IX. Overarching Themes

Theme	How It Appears
Love as danger / consumption	“Get away before I consume you.”
Addiction to repetition	“The seventh time is a charm.”
Secrecy and guilt	“Nobody has to know.”
Urban modernity as mythology	“Neon lights,” “bullet train,” “black phone book.”
Poetry as survival	“I learned to swim to color my words underwater.”
Death and irony	The funeral scene for his “weakest link.”

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X. Tone and Style

• Voice: Fragmented, confessional, self-aware.

• Mood: Feverish, electric, melancholic.

• Form: Free verse with cinematic pacing—each stanza a vignette or frame.

• Language: Modern diction (“bullet train,” “neon lights”) mixed with biblical and romantic undertones (“dead heart,” “funeral,” “devotion”).

• Syntax: Disjointed but rhythmic, mirroring the instability of emotion.

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XI. Final Reflection

“Blunders” is a portrait of the artist after disillusionment.
It’s the sound of someone who has loved too deeply, written too obsessively, and lived long enough to see both acts collapse into each other.

The poem doesn’t seek redemption—it documents the continuing compulsion to try again.
Its final line, repeated twice, is both confession and mantra:

“I’ve learn from my blunders
& the seventh time is a charm.”

It’s weary, wry, and oddly hopeful—an acknowledgment that even failure, if done artfully enough, becomes a kind of faith.

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💭 In one line:
“Blunders” is the poetry of aftermath — a neon-lit confession that love’s mistakes are not to be erased but re-lived until they finally teach the heart how to speak truthfully.