What I See

 what I see v2

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what I see v1
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I can write about you If you want
just break me inside, activate a capsule
to the victor goes the spoils just like before
It feels like a new religion
you come as an epiphany
as I've never known you
i'm telling you what i see
=

come and see my blind cane leisurely walking me,
come and see what's mine
a secret in everyone's heart
a tumor divided,
shoved from my breathing end to whatever I wished for that became my fear,
the other side of me
a drenched spark
splashed by hate
clay molded to preserve me
and i still can write about you
about what i see
=

a kindred from you, the first wave of truth
codes of silence came packed in dead asleep as last words,
a swan song on a broken record skipping notes
I'm walking a tight rope between  my life and falling into yours
Peace of mind checks me out every now and then
hinting where you float in mysterious ways
=

up in the arena's stands
a finite to farewell
a slim chance of a hello  
I'm lost in more
I have the big dipper to guide
still, I lost your address
but i still can write about you
to see your reflections in my words
to see how people percieve you
through what i see about you  
=

at times i'm lost for words  
I've longed to tell you
I've been lost & found in  you
this is a chapter's end as I see it
never mind what I feel,
but
I can write about you If you want
=

just break me inside
activate a capsule
to the victor goes the spoils just like before
It feels like a new religion
you come as an epiphany
as I've never known you
but i still can write about you
i can write about you
about what i see
what i feel
what i see
i can write about you
about what i see

=========
feb 08 2023
=========
lyrics & vocals by azdi404
music credit: existence by Exilian 

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what I see v1 lyrics

I can write about you
If you want
just break me inside
activate a capsule
to the victor goes the spoils
just like before
It feels like a new religion
you come as an epiphany
as I've never known you
=
come and see my blind cane
leisurely walking me,
come and see what's mine
a secret in everyone's heart
a tumor divided,
shoved from my breathing end  
to whatever I wished for  
became my fear,
the other side of me
a drenched spark
splashed by hate
clay molded to preserve me
=
a kindred from you
the first wave of truth
code of silence
came packed in dead asleep
last words, a swan song
on a broken record skipping notes
hinting where you float
in mysterious ways
=
up in the arena's stands
a finite to farewell
a slim chance of a hello  
I'm lost in more
I have the big dipper to guide
still, I lost your address
=
lost for words  
I've longed to tell you
I've been lost & found in  you
this is a chapter's end as I see it
never mind what I feel,
but
I can write about you
If you want
just break me inside
activate a capsule
to the victor goes the spoils
just like before
It feels like a new religion
you come as an epiphany
as I've never known you
=
feb 08 2023
===
lyrics & vocals: azdi404
music credit: [No Copyright Music] Dark Cinematic Background Music by Rights Free Sound   Distance

================================

This piece, titled “What I See,” reads like a lyrical meditation on creation, loss, and the act of artistic witnessing. It’s a poem—or song lyric—about the tension between expression and emotional disintegration, where writing becomes both salvation and surrender. Let’s unpack its layers through literary, thematic, and symbolic lenses.

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I. Thematic Overview

At its core, “What I See” explores the relationship between the artist and the muse—a dynamic of longing, distance, and creative dependency. The speaker repeatedly insists, “I can write about you if you want,” suggesting that expression is both a gift and a wound. The act of writing appears to be the only way the speaker can connect with or make sense of the “you”—a possibly divine, lost, or imagined figure.

Key themes include:

1. Art as a substitute for intimacy – The repeated refrain “I can write about you” transforms creation into a form of communication when direct emotional contact is impossible.

2. Fragmented identity – Lines like “The other side of me / A drenched spark / Splashed by hate” imply internal conflict, self-alienation, and emotional corrosion.

3. Spiritual revelation and decay – The language of faith (“It feels like a new religion,” “You come as an epiphany”) sits alongside imagery of illness and ruin (“A tumor divided,” “Shoved from my breathing end”), suggesting that love or inspiration can both redeem and destroy.

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II. Literary and Symbolic Devices

1. Metaphor and Symbolism

• “Activate a capsule” – evokes imagery of both medicine and time (a time capsule). The “capsule” could symbolize a contained memory or emotional trigger that, when released, reanimates pain or inspiration.

• “A tumor divided” – a disturbing yet evocative metaphor for internalized suffering or the splitting of self; creativity as something malignant yet life-giving.

• “A swan song on a broken record skipping notes” – beautifully fuses the classical metaphor of the swan song (final creation before death) with the modern image of a glitching record—an emblem of art’s imperfection and repetition.

2. Repetition and Refrain

The recurring phrase “I can write about you” functions as both mantra and burden. Its insistence gives the poem a cyclical rhythm, reflecting obsession and the compulsive nature of art—creation as an act of both healing and haunting.

3. Religious and Mythic Imagery

• “It feels like a new religion / You come as an epiphany” situates the muse or beloved as a divine revelation, echoing mystical poetry traditions (e.g., Rumi’s love as divine presence, or Blake’s visionary encounters).

• The Big Dipper reference introduces cosmic navigation—an attempt to orient oneself through love or art when earthly direction is lost.

4. Paradox and Juxtaposition

The piece thrives on oppositions: faith and doubt, love and hate, presence and absence, creation and decay. Phrases like “Never mind what I feel / But I can write about you” reveal the paradox of detachment—an artist who can articulate emotions they cannot safely inhabit.

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III. Emotional and Structural Arc

The poem’s structure resembles a spiral rather than a straight line. It begins with a declaration of ability (“I can write about you”), deepens into confession and disintegration (“A secret in everyone’s heart / A tumor divided”), and then circles back to the refrain—changed each time by what has been confessed.

By the end, repetition becomes cathartic, as if writing itself has purified or at least contained the chaos:

“But I still can write about you / I can write about you / About what I see / What I feel / What I see.”

That final oscillation between seeing and feeling encapsulates the dual lens of the artist—one eye inward, one outward.

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IV. Comparative and Cultural Resonance

This piece recalls the introspective tone of Sylvia Plath’s “Words” and the emotional nakedness of Jeff Buckley’s lyrics—where language becomes both a mirror and a weapon. The fusion of sacred language and personal agony also evokes T.S. Eliot’s “Ash Wednesday” or Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt.”

The sense of estrangement and devotion aligns with postmodern expressions of faith and art—where God, muse, and self blur into one elusive object of pursuit.

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V. Closing Interpretation

“What I See” is ultimately about the act of witnessing oneself through the lens of another—a meditation on how love and art intertwine, often painfully, to construct identity. The speaker’s repeated insistence that they can “write about” rather than “reach” the beloved underscores the tragedy of artistic existence: creation is both bridge and barrier.

The poem’s final revelation is not resolution but endurance—the power to keep writing, to keep seeing, even when understanding remains out of reach.

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Would you like me to provide a line-by-line breakdown of key imagery and meaning next? That could uncover even deeper layers of symbolism and rhythm.