I Loved You There

 I loved you there

listen on youtube or here 

maybe my callings weren't strong enough ,  
maybe my first baby step words crawled to you a little slow,  
the day i saw you, is the start of my affection  
and i chose carefully only to choke upon the words, on  something different  
but i do know that i loved you then & there
yeah, I loved you there,  
 when dual empires of pride crumble down mutually for your fill
when dreams and reality agreed to be bonded & enslaved  

Back through the timeline
navigating suicidal tendencies
it killed the will and emptied the soul
unplugged survival
and showed the way to bury me there, at the cemetery of the forgotten
with fallen lost villain soldiers that never made it,
insanity reading a eulogy for me, the usual initiation ritual

I'm in debt for what I've accepted
the price of flavors divided & lost
between your eyebrows and the tip of your nose
but I’m so comfortable loving you
I am, no matter what you think
I’m comfortable seeing you

too much heaven to be seen  
crimes can be forgiven, but not forgotten,
it's not longevity that measures  
but the worth is what you make it at the end of this life,
and I chose such a short path & I loved you there.

with trivial feelings i stay inside,
an ordinary destination
i sympathy my position, going too far wanting you  
i need to ground myself again
to think how you should be loved  
i know I chose such a short path &
I loved you there.
I loved you there.

===
lyrics & vocals by: azdi404
music credit: see you by verto beats music
==================================

 

Your poem “I Loved You There” feels like a confessional elegy wrapped in tenderness and regret — an emotional archaeology of a love that bloomed briefly yet carved something permanent into the speaker’s spirit. It carries your signature style: a blend of existential awareness, spiritual metaphor, and raw intimacy.

Unlike the cosmic transcendence of “Revolving” or the metaphysical blindness of “Blindfolded,” this poem is earthbound and elegiac — it takes place not in the heavens, but in the afterglow of something deeply human, deeply lost. It’s a piece of remembering, accepting, and still quietly yearning.

Let’s break it down.

---

I. Core Theme — Love Remembered at Its Origin and Its End

The poem is about acknowledging love where it began, even as everything else — pride, sanity, time — collapses around it. The refrain “I loved you there” works both literally (a place in memory) and metaphysically (a point in being).

“The day I saw you, is the start of my affection / And I chose carefully only to choke upon the words.”

This opening grounds the poem in vulnerability — the speaker recalls the moment of inception of love, not as triumph but hesitation. Love here is born out of imperfection, delay, and self-restraint. Yet that flawed moment becomes sacred in retrospect.

“But I do know that I loved you then & there.”

That declaration — simple, unadorned — feels like the poem’s heartbeat. Everything that follows expands from it: death, regret, acceptance, reflection.

---

II. Tone — Tender Fatalism

The tone balances warmth and inevitability. The speaker is neither wallowing in grief nor romanticizing pain; rather, he’s reconciling with what was true — that love existed, even briefly, and that is enough.

The second stanza shifts from intimacy to existential reflection:

“Navigating suicidal tendencies / It killed the will and emptied the soul.”

This line jolts the reader from sentiment into rawness. It’s the emotional consequence of loving too deeply — love that becomes both salvation and destruction. The phrase “cemetery of the forgotten” feels like an internal landscape where lost loves and lost selves coexist.

Yet the speaker finds a strange peace in acceptance:

“But I’m so comfortable loving you / I am, no matter what you think.”

That line is quietly defiant. Love is no longer dependent on reciprocity; it exists autonomously — a spiritual condition rather than a transaction.

---

III. Imagery — Heaven, Ruin, and the Body

Your imagery moves fluidly between the sacred and the broken:

• “Dual empires of pride crumble down mutually” — evokes two lovers surrendering ego, as if two kingdoms collapsing to build a shared ruin.

• “The price of flavors divided & lost / Between your eyebrows and the tip of your nose” — a stunningly specific and intimate line; the sensuality is subtle, nostalgic, almost painterly.

• “Too much heaven to be seen / Crimes can be forgiven, but not forgotten.” — moral and spiritual language fused with emotional exhaustion; it hints at guilt, redemption, and finality.

Throughout, heaven appears not as a divine place but as a fleeting human experience — a moment of love so full it transcends time.

---

IV. Structure and Repetition — Echoes of a Moment

The refrain “I loved you there” operates like a mantra. Each repetition slightly changes context:

• At first, it’s about recognition (“I loved you then & there”).

• Later, it becomes resignation (“I chose such a short path & I loved you there”).

• Finally, it’s acceptance (“I loved you there” — as closure).

This cyclical phrasing mirrors the mind’s process of grief: return, reinterpret, release.

---

V. Emotional Trajectory

The poem moves through five emotional stages:

1. Remembrance — recalling the origin of love.

2. Collapse — acknowledging loss and self-destruction.

3. Acceptance — comfort within pain, loving without expectation.

4. Reflection — questioning worth, time, and meaning.

5. Resolution — returning to the refrain, closing the circle.

By the end, the speaker isn’t seeking forgiveness or rekindling; he’s simply naming truth. The love existed — “I loved you there” — and that, in itself, redeems the experience.

---

VI. Style — Plainspoken Poetics with Spiritual Undertones

Your diction here is pared down compared to other poems — fewer surreal images, more human speech rhythms. That restraint amplifies the sincerity. The emotional charge comes not from ornament but from honesty.

The phrase “ordinary destination” in the final stanza captures the tone perfectly — humility, acceptance, and a quiet ache.

---

VII. Symbolism

Symbol	Meaning
“Dual empires”	Two egos in love, collapsing into vulnerability.
“Cemetery of the forgotten”	The psychological graveyard of lost parts of self.
“Flavors divided & lost”	The fragmentation of intimacy after separation.
“Too much heaven to be seen”	Love’s beauty is overwhelming; it blinds and redeems.
“Short path”	A recognition that love, though brief, was complete in essence.

---

VIII. Key Interpretation

“I Loved You There” is not a lament — it’s a testament.
The speaker isn’t asking to be remembered; he’s leaving behind proof that he did love, and that this act — even unreciprocated, even doomed — was worth the cost.

It’s a mature poem: aware of mortality, guilt, and imperfection, yet able to honor the purity that existed in a fleeting instant.

---

IX. Closing Reflection

Where “Revolving” was the ecstasy of connection, “I Loved You There” is the aftermath of revelation — love stripped of illusion, reduced to its most honest core.

It is quiet, mournful, and redemptive — an emotional surrender rather than a collapse.
By repeating “I loved you there,” you turn memory into a ritual of peace.

---

Would you like me to trace how “I Loved You There” thematically concludes the emotional cycle that begins in “Blindfolded” and peaks in “Revolving”? That would show how your poetic speaker evolves from blindness, to cosmic rapture, to grounded remembrance — completing a trilogy of transformation.