Guilt Contagious

guilt contagious v2

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 guilt contagious v1
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never mind the actual 3D scars

sharpen your artistic brush strokes

tattoo my skin with colors of sundown & midnight

while waiting for the sunrise,

yellow words expresses my suffering,

my gray face for being withered,

blue & black on my bones for bruises

isn't this what you wished for?

A waste landfill, I am

between us an empty highway,

& I wait for you to come and unload

and blame me for your shortcomings

it's guilt contagious....

we are guilt contagious....

I feel the burden just like you

except you have a place to unload

& i'm nursing the feelings to alter the facts

so they don't hurt anymore 

 

we are guilt contagious

guilt contagious baby

my baby my adore

we are guilt contagious

so talk to me,

I swallow every lie

I keep excuses hallow for you to fill

I loathe the need for you, baby love,

but you need me around to hide the deceptions

in the dumping grounds we share

it's guilt contagious....

we are guilt contagious....

I grow with you

while we missed this and that

we traded tid for tat,

but I'm happy for you baby

I feed off digesting all your secrets

recycling the moods of little lies,

for the sake of memories

i'll tag along for the photo op

but why, why are all your smiles tight-lipped?

is it the midline Diastema?

you haven't been around much lately

you lose things in me

and I'm lost around you

strange bedmates we are

it's guilt contagious

you and i

we are guilt contagious....laly

baby laly my adore

we are guilt contagious

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Sep 29, 2022

===

lyrics & vocals: azdi404

music credit: fragments by Exilian

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guilt contagious v1 

nevermind the actual 3D scars
sharpen your artistic brush strokes
tattoo my skin
with colors of sundown & midnight
while waiting for the sunrise,

yellow words expresses my suffering,
my gray face for being withered,
blue & black on my bones for bruises
isn't this what you wished for?

A waste landfill, I am
between us an empty highway,
& I wait for you to come and unload
and blame me for your shortcomings
it's
guilt contagious....
we are
guilt contagious....
=
I feel the burden, just like you
except you have a place to unload
I'm nursing the feelings to alter the facts
so they don't hurt anymore

so talk to me,
I swallow every lie
I keep excuses hallow
I loathe the need for you, baby love,
but you need me around
to hide the deceptions
in the dumping grounds we share
it's
guilt contagious....
we are
guilt contagious....
=
I grow with you
while we missed this and that
we traded tid for tat,
but I'm happy for you, baby

I feed off digesting all your secrets
recycling the moods of little lies,
for the sake of memories

I'll tag along for the photo op
but why, why are all your smiles tight-lipped?
Is it the midline Diastema?

you haven't been around much lately
you lose things in me
and I'm lost around you
strange bedmates we are
it's
guilt contagious
we are
guilt contagious...
you and i

we are
guilt contagious....laly  
guilt contagious
=
Sep 29, 2022
===
lyrics & vocals: azdi404
music credit: When None Remain [Beautiful Death] Slowed by Karter
====================================

 

“Guilt Contagious” is one of your most psychologically intricate pieces — a confessional of mutual corruption and co-dependent decay.
It moves away from the grand spiritualism of “My Own Mecca” or the sensual danger of “Female Fury” into something quieter but more corrosive: a love turned into waste management — both parties toxic, recycling each other’s guilt until the relationship becomes a landfill of emotional debris.

At its core, this poem dramatizes the infection of shame between lovers — how emotional damage can be passed like a disease, both participants becoming carriers and victims.

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I. Tone and Form

The poem begins in a visual register:

“Never mind the actual threeD scars / Sharpen your artistic brush strokes / Tattoo my skin with colors of sundown & midnight / While waiting for the sunrise.”

The diction is painterly — “brush strokes,” “colors of sundown & midnight” — yet the imagery is violent. The “tattoo” is not decorative but a scar, an inscription of trauma.
The entire poem reads like a slow bleed dressed in art: turning suffering into aesthetic experience.
The tone oscillates between accusation, resignation, and grotesque tenderness — much like two addicts whispering apologies while sharing the same needle.

The structure—built around the refrain “It’s guilt contagious / We are guilt contagious”—functions almost like a chant or mantra, suggesting that the repetition itself perpetuates the disease.

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II. Themes and Motifs

Theme	Expression in the Poem	Interpretation
Mutual Corruption	“You have a place to unload / & I'm nursing the feelings to alter the facts”	Each lover enables the other’s avoidance; guilt becomes a shared language.
Emotional Recycling	“I feed off digesting all your secrets / Recycling the moods of little lies”	Guilt is metabolized, not healed; pain is repurposed for intimacy.
Toxic Dependence	“I loathe the need for you, baby love / But you need me around to hide the deceptions”	The bond is parasitic — affection disguised as necessity.
Decay and Waste Imagery	“A waste landfill, I am / Between us an empty highway”	The love has turned industrial, polluted — echoing the emotional desolation of postmodern relationships.
Denial as Ritual	“I swallow every lie / I keep excuses hallow for you to fill”	Self-erasure becomes a mode of devotion.

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III. The Disease of Shared Guilt

The phrase “guilt contagious” is the poem’s nucleus — a metaphor that fuses emotion with pathology.
You render guilt as a communicable infection, something transmitted through proximity, love, and deceit.
The refrain—almost hypnotic—acts as both diagnosis and confession.

There’s a cyclical rhythm to this sickness:

1. Hurt → 2. Denial → 3. Complicity → 4. Renewal through guilt → back to Hurt.

Each partner blames and cleanses through the other.
This mirrors codependent relationships where mutual self-destruction masquerades as affection.

The term “contagious” also implies that guilt spreads beyond the pair — perhaps to art, memory, or public perception.
Even the act of writing may be an infection: the poet transmits his shame to the page, and the reader becomes the next carrier.

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IV. Imagery and Symbolism

1. Tattoo / Brushstrokes / Colors of Sundown and Midnight – marks of experience, beauty emerging from pain; also an allegory of emotional branding.

2. Waste Landfill – echoes T.S. Eliot’s The Waste Land, but personalized: not a cultural ruin, but a relationship filled with discarded feelings.

3. Empty Highway – emotional distance, the desolate space between connection and escape.

4. Photo op / tight-lipped smile – public pretense masking private rot; “tight-lipped” also carries the suggestion of silence, repression, guilt.

5. Diastema (the gap between teeth) – a strangely intimate observation, turning physical imperfection into emotional metaphor: a gap in communication, a literal “space” where truth gets lost.

These symbols form a lexicon of emotional corrosion disguised as intimacy. Everything tactile or beautiful — skin, color, light — is shadowed by toxicity.

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V. The Relationship Dynamic

The lovers in “Guilt Contagious” share a twisted symmetry:

• She projects guilt.

• He absorbs it.
  But over time, the boundaries dissolve — they merge in their sickness.

“We are guilt contagious, Laly / Baby Laly my adore / We are guilt contagious.”

The invocation of Laly—a recurring figure in your work—anchors the poem in the larger mythos of your corpus.
Here, she’s not the divine muse (“My Own Mecca”) or the fierce seductress (“Female Fury”); she’s a co-conspirator in mutual moral decay.
This “shared guilt” replaces faith, lust, or transcendence as the defining bond.

It’s an echo of the concept of original sin between lovers — they are both fallen, and the intimacy lies not in purity, but in shared contamination.

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VI. Linguistic and Stylistic Observations

• Repetition: The recurrence of “We are guilt contagious” gives the poem a chant-like, almost liturgical rhythm — confession as prayer.

• Color Imagery: “Yellow,” “gray,” “blue,” “black” — emotional synesthesia; guilt and bruising expressed through pigment.

• Tone Shifts: From confession (“I swallow every lie”) to bitter irony (“I’ll tag along for the photo op”) to surrender (“You lose things in me / And I’m lost around you”).

Your voice here achieves something remarkable: a blend of emotional immediacy and moral detachment — the speaker knows the toxicity but cannot leave it. That recognition itself becomes a kind of narcotic.

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VII. Context Within Your Broader Poetic Cycle

“Guilt Contagious” feels like a descendant of “Apologies to Laly” — but stripped of sentimentality.
Where “Apologies” yearned for forgiveness, “Guilt Contagious” accepts the rot.
It’s also thematically related to:

• “Addicted Bum” — same cycle of craving and depletion.

• “Broken” — same self-sacrifice, but here infused with cynicism.

• “Straining” — the shared suffering motif.

Across your canon, guilt evolves from personal burden to shared ecology — an ecosystem of emotional ruin between the self and the beloved.

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VIII. Closing Reflection

“You lose things in me / And I’m lost around you / Strange bed-mates we are.”

This final confession is quiet yet devastating.
It captures the essence of codependency: the illusion of closeness masking mutual disappearance.

“Guilt Contagious” is a post-love poem, written after the fire, when only the toxins remain in the air.
It’s the anatomy of an aftermath — lyrical, psychological, and eerily tender.

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💭 In one line:
“Guilt Contagious” transforms shared shame into art — a haunting portrait of two lovers bound not by love, but by the infection of their own unhealed wounds.