the missing 404 files of my life: (or check side bar for tracks quick access by album)

I was a Boy

 i was a boy listen on youtube or here I exiled myself from the outside into the void  Not to run away but to find myself  I thought & believed what I observed to be the difference there had been signs of crumblings & decay = I need to rebuild myself  To know me before I introduce myself to others In this strange atmosphere I realized that  I've discovered an ancient pulse  it’s found in every reciprocation  with born whispers from breathing souls  = reaching into every mind through grievances laid on walls    tagging through skin for best results via gentle touch and through these we find the divine that lifts us up And being alone I had only one place to search ,  further inward, down in the sub basement of my core  i needed a reflection of me to see me in the third person Am I searching for the divinity of god or the divinity from within?  it started when I was a boy and she was nothing in the void I was a boy a...
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Friends

 friends
listen on youtube or here



my heart is not beating much, but i can hear it condemning me
where do I start from when all my friends are gone?
i can only trust the dead because they can't harm me anymore

at the peak of loneliness, I ask myself, how am I loved?
what is it, and which version should I trust
they all give me the same feelings, but the end is always disappointing
from the closest of them all to the furthest

it starts out with ordinary trust, then it changes gears midway
betrayal seems like the order of life;
it seems like there's a conflict of interest
every day seems like the last

as I got old, I never learned,
in life, there's a different lesson every day
Hope is a killer for a shallow soul
adored as a wealth mine for the greedy
I might be a fringe to be served on someone's plate for an anniversary...
I've made it this far

I've been living the moments since my arrival, to say
hello, I've got to go back to the land I have wandered off from
penance echoes for a time through my ill-colored soul
I've been on too many sides

inspired by myself as a failed role model
I struggle to stay away  from  all the things I represented
a negative role model for the meek
a positive plate for the hungry
so, when the hour comes, I might say:
my friends, I've missed the dead,
so goodby and i might see you again in your thoughts.
=
lyrics & vocals by azdi404
music credit: rain by Exilian

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