Laly's Crystallized Smile

Laly's Crystallized Smile v2

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crystallized smile v1 
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Laly's crystallized smile

I believed in sowing the seeds, so I harvested memories

Absorbing details of your face & body

Of clips, reels, stills, 3D shapes of you

If you suddenly disconnect from me

And it wasn't me when it happened

You walked away, you had no words for goodbye

A devious heist of nameless days

The outrage of a weakened man

I praised the lord through you in grievance

Measures of revenge taken in silent prayers

I still love the little gap between your two front teeth

You still owe me a crystallized smile

Scales of forgiveness depends on the weight of the grief

So, when will I see you again, short of a smile you owe

Why, why are your sweet mouth smiles tight-lipped

My need traces back to a banished, pitied soul

Hurt is packed by the dozens

Some spares of hate, two pills to be exact

I need to see the little gap between your two front teeth

It's so much you; it's your signature

It's your crystallized smile, laly

It's your crystallized smile, laly

I unleashed the leash from the neck of the days

The narrowest bandwidth of truth will trickle

And you'll admit that you owe me a crystallized smile

Words we said never matched our thoughts

The lies we made around each other

Never lead anywhere but dead

They were always two steps behind

But you're still in debt to me

With a full mid-line diastema shine

Photos aren't enough, laly, they're not enough

Laly, you still owe me a crystallized smile

You still owe me a crystallized smile, laly

You still owe me
=
Jan 18, 2023
=
lyrics & vocals: azdi404
music credit: on the edge by Gaxillic
=============================

 

Here’s a deep, close-reading analysis of “Laly’s crystallized smile”—tone, structure, emotional arcs, symbolism, and the psychological engine beneath it.

Analysis of “Laly’s crystallized smile”

1. Core Theme: Debt, Desire, and the Currency of Memory

The poem is built around a recurring motif:
Laly owes the speaker a smile — specifically the gap-toothed smile (“mid-line diastema”) that symbolizes her essence.

This “debt” isn’t literal.
It’s emotional, spiritual, erotic, and nostalgic.

Her smile becomes:

  • a signature,

  • a relic,

  • a currency that the speaker feels deprived of,

  • and a unit of truth in a relationship built on lies.

The speaker is saying:
“Everything of you slipped away, except that smile. And even that, you denied me.”

2. Structure & Repetition: A Spiral of Longing

The poem structurally behaves like a grief loop:

  • You owe me → I remember → You owe me → I confess hurt → You owe me.

The returns to the line “You still owe me a crystallized smile” mimic obsessive yearning.
This repetition isn’t redundant; it’s ritualistic—almost like a prayer or incantation.

3. The Smile as Symbol

The smile isn’t just physical.

It symbolizes:

  • Acceptance (a smile is an opening)

  • Truth (the gap in the teeth is “honesty”—imperfection as authenticity)

  • Intimacy (only those close see your “true smile”)

  • What was stolen (“a devious heist of nameless days”)

The smile is crystallized:

  • frozen in memory

  • preserved like a gem

  • or hardened, inaccessible

There’s also a subtle irony:
Laly is remembered through a gap, a space — but she is now absent, leaving a different kind of gap.

4. Emotional Landscape: A Contradiction-Fueled Love

This is a relationship driven by:

  • devotion

  • resentment

  • worship

  • injury

  • nostalgia

  • hunger

You use religious imagery:

“I praised the lord through you in grievance”

Love becomes prayer, but also punishment.

You also use medical/chemical language:

“Hurt is packed by the dozens
Some spares of hate, two pills to be exact”

It’s like the speaker is diagnosing their own heartbreak with pharmacist precision.

5. Time & Memory: The Hoarding of the Past

Your opening is very strong:

“I believed in sowing the seeds, so I harvested memories”

This suggests:

  • one person planted hope

  • the other disappeared before the harvest

  • the speaker is left collecting remnants, not living moments

The “clips, reels, stills, 3D shapes” evoke obsessive cataloging.
It’s cinematic, voyeuristic, archival—like someone preserving an extinct species.

6. The Psychology of the Speaker

The speaker feels:

  • abandoned (“You walked away, no words for goodbye”)

  • humiliated (“outrage of a weakened man”)

  • spiritually robbed (“devious heist”)

  • emotionally addicted (“you still owe me…”)

There’s a powerful confession of dependency:

“My need traces back to a banished, pitied soul”

So the craving for the smile isn’t just about Laly—
it fills a deeper internal void.

7. Lies, Mismatched Words, and the Aftermath

You write:

“Words we said never matched our thoughts”

This is a post-mortem of a dead relationship.

The lies are:

  • mutual

  • stagnant

  • “always two steps behind”

  • unable to lead to intimacy or resolution

Yet despite the broken communication, the speaker still clings to a visual truth:
the gap-toothed smile.

Pictures aren’t enough—because they lack the living presence.

8. Tone & Voice

The voice is:

  • confessional

  • wounded

  • reverent

  • slightly vengeful

  • poetic but controlled

  • vulnerable yet demanding

It has shades of:

  • Mahmoud Darwish’s longing

  • Warsan Shire’s pain-body intimacy

  • Leonard Cohen’s spiritual hunger

9. Final Impression

This poem is a devotional grievance—
a psalm of heartbreak.

The smile symbolizes:

  • unfinished business

  • lost promise

  • a soul-print

  • the one true mark of the real Laly

And the repeated insistence that she “owes” it gives the poem its haunting, obsessive engine.


========================== 

crystallized smile v1 lyrics


I believed in sowing the seeds,
so I harvested memories
absorbing details of your face & body
clips, reels, stills, 3D shapes of you
if you suddenly disconnect from me,

it wasn't me when it happened
you walked away
you had no words for goodbye
I still love the little gap between your two front teeth
you still owe me a crystallized smile
=
a devious heist of nameless days
the outrage of a weakened man
I praised the lord through you in grievance
measures of revenge taken in silent prayers
=
scales of forgiveness depends on the weight of the grief
when will I see you again,
short of a smile you owe
when your sweet mouth smiles are tight-lipped

my need traces back to a banished, pitied soul
hurt is packed by the dozens,
some spares of hate, two pills to be exact

I need to see the little gap between your two front teeth
it's so much you; it's your signature.
It's your crystalized smile.
=
I unleashed the leash from the neck of the days
the narrowest bandwidth of truth will trickle

Words we said never matched our thoughts,
The lies we made around each other
never lead anywhere but dead
they were always two steps behind

but you're still in debt to me,
with a full midline diastema shine
photos aren't enough elsee
they're not enough
elsee, you still owe me a crystalized smile
you still owe me a crystalized smile elsee
=
Jan 18, 2023
=
lyrics & vocals: azdi404
 Breeze - in Monochrome Night (extended) - Akira Yamaoka
=====

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